IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Many people think that the government should spend more money on providing faster and cheaper means of public transport. Some others think that there are other important factors to take into consideration like (petrol, cost and environment). Discuss both views and give your opinion?

A
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
substanial
Correct your spelling
Substantial
 human beings are arguing that the authority should put more resources
on
Change preposition
into
show examples
 offering efficient and affordable public
transport
Use synonyms
 rather than considering alternative vital factors
such
Linking Words
 as price, oil and environment.
This
Linking Words
 essay will examine both perspectives and express my personal opinion. On the one hand, a considerable
amount
Check wording
number
show examples
 of individuals commute to work or study by buses and trains.
Therefore
Linking Words
, the expenditure and duration of transit can plummet if the government can provide reliable and
low cost
Use the right word
low-cost
show examples
 public
transport
Use synonyms
. Most of mankind would spend more than one hour
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
show examples
 day by day,
as well as
Linking Words
 may spend no less than a tenth of
the
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
 salary on transportation every month.
For instance
Linking Words
, the railway companies in Japan give extremely outstanding train services, so it can lead
a
Change preposition
to a
show examples
larger number of workers
enjoy
Wrong verb form
enjoying
show examples
 stable and safe railway systems.
This
Linking Words
 not only saves the waiting time and money in transportation, but it can
also
Linking Words
enchances
Correct your spelling
enhance
 the productivity and
efficency
Correct your spelling
efficiency
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
 Japan.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, another advocate
to focus
Verb problem
focuses
show examples
 on other aspects
such
Linking Words
 as
fossl
Correct your spelling
fossil
 fuel, cost and circumstances. Undoubtedly, the overuse of
pertrol
Correct your spelling
petrol
 not only increases the emission of greenhouse gas, but it
also
Linking Words
determine
Correct subject-verb agreement
determines
show examples
 our living places. To illustrate, numerous developing countries are confronting
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
pollution issues
beacuse
Correct your spelling
because
 of overexploitation and
industrialization
Change the spelling
industrialisation
show examples
. Those nations prefer to earn enormous profits, but they omit the negative impact
from damaging
Replace the word
of a damaged
show examples
 environment. To a nutshell, I think the
advacement
Correct your spelling
advancement
 of public
transport
Use synonyms
 can mitigate the pollution problem
due to
Linking Words
decrease
Correct article usage
a decrease
show examples
 in
using
Wrong verb form
the use of
show examples
fossl
Correct your spelling
fossil
 fuel. Meanwhile, the public
transport
Use synonyms
 fee can be
declined
Verb problem
reduced
show examples
 if the authority can provide more
finanical
Correct your spelling
financial
 aid to railway companies.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Be clear on your main view and restate it in the last part.
task response
Give one or two small examples that fit the points you make.
coherence
Make idea flow smooth with simple linking words and clear order.
grammar
Use right spell for common words like petrol, environment, cost.
content
The essay tries to discuss both sides and has an opinion.
structure
There is an intro and a conclusion.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: