IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Nowadays sending children to boarding school is becoming increasingly popular. Why is it ? Is it a positive or a negative development

Certain individuals believe that building more centres for exercise may improve
public's
Correct article usage
the public's
show examples
 health.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, some say
this
Linking Words
 move will not help at all because there are other steps that can be taken. I,
however
Linking Words
, think that other measures are required to achieve better health. On one hand, some
people
Use synonyms
 think that building more
sports
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facilities
Use synonyms
 ,
such
Linking Words
 as soccer stadiums and swimming pools, is the best way to deal with public health. They believe that exercising may help prevent more diseases ,
such
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 as high blood pressure.
For instance
Linking Words
, most developed countries offer free gym cards to their employees as a way of encouraging exercise.
This
Linking Words
 is because some of the workers spend time working on their computers . They have no time for
sports
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.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, other individuals say that
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 having more sporting
facilities
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 will not make any change.
This
Linking Words
 is because other measures must be taken. I
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 support
this
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 view because
people
Use synonyms
 need to be educated about the importance of exercising, as some do not know.
Also
Linking Words
, when
sports
Use synonyms
facilities
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 are built, other equipment must be
used
Verb problem
made available
show examples
 for free .
For instance
Linking Words
, the government may build more
sports
Use synonyms
facilities
Use synonyms
 without restrictions or entrance fees.
This
Linking Words
 may motivate
people
Use synonyms
 to do
sports
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 ,
hence
Linking Words
, improve their well-being. In conclusion, I'm of the opinion that having more
sports
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facilities
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 is not helpful if
people
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 do not know how , why and how to use them. Educating the public and giving them free entrance may be a good start.

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task response
Put your view in the first line of the essay and keep it in mind as you write the rest.
task response
Explain your ideas well. Add clear examples for each idea.
coherence
Use linking words to show how ideas connect, like also, but, however, therefore.
coherence
Make each paragraph hold one main idea. Start with a clear sentence that tells the idea.
language
Check grammar and use short, clear sentences. Avoid long, hard sentences.
language
Choose the right words. Use simple, exact words to show contrast and opinion.
content
The essay shows both sides and has a clear view.
structure
There is a conclusion that sums up the view.
task
The task stays on the topic and is easy to follow.
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