IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some consumers are increasingly choosing to buy goods that are produced in their local area, rather than imported goods. What are the reasons for this? Is this a positive or a negative trend?

There is no denying the fact that buying the products from a local store is important for the community and
local
Change preposition
for local
show examples
 stores to improve their area. The essay will discuss the reasons for relying on local shops and the effects of
this
Linking Words
 trend.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, there are many reasons for relying on
local
Correct article usage
the local
show examples
 market.
Firstly
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 encourages local businesses to provide
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
different kinds of products.
In other words
Linking Words
, that will raise the quality
Rephrase
apply
show examples
also
Linking Words
,
can
Correct word choice
and can
show examples
 attract more investment.
In addition
Linking Words
, prices will be lower than outside, because the price includes the taxes and the delivery fees.
For example
Linking Words
, if you buy from worldwide
shops
Punctuation problem
shops,
show examples
 sometimes you have to wait for 2 weeks to receive the goods or maybe will be cancelled because
transportation
Change preposition
of transportation
show examples
 problems. In teams of effects, it is a win-win situation
so
Punctuation problem
, so
show examples
 it is a positive trend cause
Correct pronoun usage
it help
show examples
help
Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
show examples
 the local economy to increase and makes people pay less money. It is
also
Linking Words
 possible to say that the government will reduce the importation and increase the exportation.
Moreover
Linking Words
, that will give more job opportunities for the president. For
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
instance, an experiment
on
Change preposition
at
show examples
 Oxford University called “ local market “ found that 60% of people who buy their goods from zone shops can manage their finances better than others and feel more comfortable. In conclusion, there are many reasons to make people choose local markets as their first priority for shopping. It is true that the impact has
positive
Correct article usage
a positive
show examples
 effect on local residents that helping them to improve their businesses.

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Task response
The essay tries to answer both parts, but it has weak links and the ideas are not clearly shown. Make the answer clearer: say why people buy local and then say if this is good or bad.
Coherence and cohesion
Use a simple plan. Start with a clear point, then give a short reason, then a simple example. Use more linking words to join ideas.
Content
The writer notes that local buy can help the local economy.
Organization
There is an introduction and a conclusion.
Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • local economy
  • carbon footprint
  • sustainable consumption
  • supporting local businesses
  • community development
  • cultural heritage
  • self-sufficiency
  • environmental sustainability
  • imported goods
  • fresh produce
  • consumer preference
  • local producers
  • organic products
  • economic impact
  • carbon emissions
What to do next:
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