IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

It is believed that young people have too much freedom and they don’t pay attention to the older people’s advice. Do you agree or disagree?

IN RECENT YEARS, HAS BEEN NOTICED THAT THE YOUNG GENERATION HAVE A FREEDOM TO ACT BASED ON THEIR DESIRES WITHOUT PAYING ATTENTION TO THE
ADULTS
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ADULTS'
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WORDS.
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words
,
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.
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THIS
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 QUESTION HAS BECOME A TOPIC OF GROWING DEBATE.
WHILE
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 SOME BELIEVE THAT TEENAGERS ARE REBELS NOWADAYS, I PARTLY DISAGREE, AS FOR SOME COMMUNITIES , ESPECIALLY ARAB AND ISLAMIC COUNTRIES LIKE SAUDI ARABIA. THE YOUNGER
PEOPLE
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 ARE WELL EDUCATED AND RAISED ON ISLAMIC MORALS , WHICH FORCE THEM TO BE RESPECTFUL TO THEIR
PARENTS
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.
HOWEVER
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, I BELIEVE FOR SOME REASONS THE NEW GENERATION HAVE THE RIGHT TO BE FREE TO LIVE THE WAY THEY WANT TO BE.
THIS
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 ESSAY WILL OUTLINE THE REASONS BEHIND MY OPINION AND PROVIDE RELEVANT EXAMPLES TO SUPPORT THE ARGUMENT. ONE THE ONE HAND, MOSTLY THERE ARE A MUTUAL RESPECT BETWEEN THE CHILDREN AND THEIR
PARENTS
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 , BOTH MUST FOLLOW SOME SORT OF RULES AND COMMIT IT AS BEING MUSLIM , AS FOR THE YOUNGER
PEOPLE
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 SHOULD ALWAYS PAY ATTENTION TO THE ADULTS WORDS AND TAKE IT IN CONSIDERATION EVEN IF THERE ARE SOME CONFLICTS WITH WHAT THE YOUNGER
PEOPLE
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 REALLY NEED, BECAUSE THE ISLAMIC MORALS URGE
PARENTS
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 TO TAKE CARE OF THEIR CHILDREN
MOREOVER
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, THE ADVICE CAME BASED ON PREVIOUS EXPERIENCES IN THE LIFE THAT YOUNGER GENERATION DO NOT AWARE OR UNDERSTAND YET .
ON THE OTHER HAND
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,
PARENTS
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 MUST BE AWARE OF THAT PERSONAL GROWTH SHOULD BE A PRIORITY FOR ALL INDIVIDUALS AND BY
try
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trying
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 not TO SET strict ROLES AT
HOME
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HOME,
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 TO LET THE KIDS FEEL FREE TO EXPRESS THEIR DESIRES AND NEEDS. AS
RESULT
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A RESULT
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 ,
THIS
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 CAN AFFECT THEIR MENTAL HEALTH NEGATIVELY AND MAKE THEM AVOID TO SHARE TALK WITH THEIR
PARENTS
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. BUT WHEN THEY HAVE MONITORED FREEDOM, IT WILL HELP THEM TO FIND THE WAY THEY LIVE WITHOUT RELYING ON THE
PARENTS
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 , AND EVEN THE SOCIAL ASPECT WILL BE DEVELOPED.
FOR EXAMPLE
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 , IF A YOUNGER MALE IS INTO SPORTS LIKE FOOTBALL AND WANTS TO PLAY WEEKLY WITH FRIENDS BUT HIS
PARENTS
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 ARE PROTECTIVE AND AFRAID THAT THEIR KID WILL GET INJURED , SO THEY DO NOT SUPPORT HIM TO GO , IT WILL AFFECT AND SHAPE HIM THE WAY THE
PARENTS
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 WANT , NOT WHAT HE NEEDS . IN CONCLUSION,
ALTHOUGH
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 RECEIVING ADVICE FROM AN AGED PERSON CAN MAKE THE YOUNGER
PEOPLE
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’S LIFE BRIGHTER. I BELIEVE THE OLDER
PEOPLE
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 MUST UNDERSTAND THE YOUNGER’S NEEDS IN LIFE TOO.

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organization
Make a short plan before you write: state your main idea in one sentence, then add two places to explain it.
grammar
Use simple, clear words. Avoid long phrases and odd spellings. Check each sentence so it has a verb and a subject.
content
Stick to a few strong ideas. Give one clear example for each idea, not many small notes.
structure
Make your essay format even: an intro, two body parts, and a short conclusion.
content
You show a clear view that both sides have ideas.
content
You use some real examples to explain points.
structure
You try to follow the task and give an ending.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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