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Writing Samples
Band 4

Should art be a mandatory subject for children in school, or is it a waste of time? Should children be encouraged to focus on art over other subjects?

One of the most significant issues today is
Use synonyms
arts
Correct article usage
the arts
show examples
, which people can not decide to add
with
Change preposition
as
show examples
mandatory
Correct article usage
a mandatory
show examples
 to
pupils
Use synonyms
subject
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
,
due to
Linking Words
 people
aspire
Wrong verb form
aspiring
show examples
 to encourage
pupils
Use synonyms
 to
arts
Use synonyms
 from childhood
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 some of them think
Correct article usage
the art
show examples
art
Fix the agreement mistake
arts
show examples
have to
Verb problem
should
show examples
 be
major
Correct article usage
a major
show examples
 subject in school
than
Rephrase
rather than
show examples
 others. The aim of
this
Linking Words
 essay is to demonstrate both
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
situation
Fix the agreement mistake
situations
show examples
. It seems to me that
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
Now
Fix capitalization
now
show examples
 many
pupils
Use synonyms
 have
not
Rephrase
apply
show examples
any
Correct determiner usage
no
show examples
interests
Fix the agreement mistake
interest
show examples
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
Use synonyms
arts
Correct article usage
the arts
show examples
. Humanity
already
Verb problem
has already
show examples
initiate
Verb problem
begun
show examples
 to forget about masterpiece
arts
Use synonyms
 since
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
modern art came
to
Change preposition
into
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
our
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
.
Linking Words
However
Punctuation problem
However,
show examples
 it
is
Verb problem
does
show examples
 not mean that modern
arts
Use synonyms
 are not good, just
this
Linking Words
 process
lead
Correct subject-verb agreement
leads
show examples
 to the decrease value of
history
Replace the word
historical
show examples
Use synonyms
arts
Fix the agreement mistake
art
show examples
Linking Words
due
Change preposition
because
show examples
 to
Use synonyms
arts
Fix the agreement mistake
art
show examples
 is not actively demonstrated
Punctuation problem
, that
show examples
that
Change preposition
with
show examples
 only pictures there are
include
Wrong verb form
including
show examples
also
Linking Words
 exhibits and sculptures
particularly
Punctuation problem
, particularly
show examples
 from history.
For
Linking Words
instance
Add a comma
instance,
show examples
 in
Correct your spelling
Kazakhstan
Kazakqstan
Punctuation problem
Kazakqstan,
show examples
 there are
not
Rephrase
apply
show examples
any
Correct determiner usage
no
show examples
 historical
reminder
Fix the agreement mistake
reminders
show examples
 from their history
arts
Use synonyms
 despite the most beautiful
arts
Use synonyms
 in the past were
been
Verb problem
apply
show examples
in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Kazaqstan
Correct your spelling
Kazakhstan
but
Punctuation problem
, but
show examples
 all of them
already
Verb problem
have already
show examples
solded
Verb problem
been sold
show examples
 to
another
Fix the agreement mistake
other
show examples
 countries which appreciate them.
Linking Words
Furthermore
Add a comma
Furthermore,
show examples
this
Linking Words
 process
exactly
Verb problem
is exactly
show examples
 seen
forgetting
Change preposition
as forgetting
show examples
 the
arts
Use synonyms
. I strongly support the idea that if
Use synonyms
arts
Correct article usage
the arts
show examples
really
Rephrase
apply
show examples
continue in
this
Linking Words
way
Punctuation problem
way,
show examples
 there are really removed.
Although
Linking Words
pupils
Use synonyms
 have
not
Rephrase
no
show examples
 interest
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
Use synonyms
arts
Punctuation problem
arts,
show examples
this
Linking Words
 is
really
Replace the word
a real
show examples
 waste of time and energy
,
Punctuation problem
.
show examples
Linking Words
Nevertheless
Add a comma
Nevertheless,
show examples
this
Linking Words
 process can
wake up
Verb problem
awaken
show examples
 the
unopened
Correct word choice
untapped
show examples
talants
Correct your spelling
talents
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
pupils
Use synonyms
particularly
Punctuation problem
, particularly
show examples
 from childhood. A good
illustrate
Replace the word
illustration
show examples
 of
this
Linking Words
 is France, because in France the government in
later
Correct article usage
the later
show examples
decade
Fix the agreement mistake
decades
show examples
 requires learning new skills from
pupils
Use synonyms
 in school
Linking Words
also
Punctuation problem
, also
show examples
arts
Use synonyms
 are
too
Rephrase
also
show examples
include
Wrong verb form
included
show examples
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
 skills.
Linking Words
Therefore
Punctuation problem
Therefore,
show examples
 I firmly believe that
Correct article usage
a situation
show examples
situation constant
Correct word order
constant situation
show examples
lead
Correct subject-verb agreement
leads
show examples
 to
the achieve
Wrong verb form
achieving
show examples
Correct article usage
a clearly
show examples
clearly
Replace the word
clear
show examples
.
Check wording
goal.
show examples
To sum up
Linking Words
, it seems that
pupil
Fix the agreement mistake
pupils
show examples
 should start
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
teaching on
arts
Use synonyms
 from childhood
but
Punctuation problem
, but
show examples
 without
job
Correct article usage
a job
show examples
title
Punctuation problem
title,
show examples
 because they become hater of
Use synonyms
arts
Correct article usage
the arts
show examples
 if their interests are not
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
Use synonyms
arts
Correct article usage
the arts
show examples
.

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planning
Plan your essay with one clear view. Say what you think in the intro and show it in the body.
organization
Write one idea in each paragraph. Use simple links to move from one idea to the next.
language
Use easy words and check spelling and form. It helps to be clear.
content
Give clear examples that fit the idea. Do not go off topic.
content
You try to talk about both sides and give a view.
development
There is some attempt to give examples or facts from life.
Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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