IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

some people think traveling abroad is essential to understand other cultures. Others argue it is not necessary. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

There is an ongoing debate about whether
people
Use synonyms
 must
travel
Use synonyms
 abroad to understand other cultures.
This
Linking Words
 essay will discuss both perspectives and explain why I believe
travel
Use synonyms
 is helpful but not essential. One major argument is that
traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
show examples
 provides
direct
Correct article usage
a direct
show examples
 cultural experience. When
people
Use synonyms
 visit another country, they can observe daily life, traditions, and communication styles in a natural environment, which cannot always be felt through books or videos.
For example
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, meeting local
people
Use synonyms
 and joining cultural festivals offers a deeper understanding than simply reading about them online.
Therefore
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, supporters of
this
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 view argue that real exposure requires physical presence.
On the other hand
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, many believe that
traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
show examples
 abroad is no longer required because modern technology offers similar learning opportunities.
This
Linking Words
 is because documentaries, virtual tours, social media, and global communication allow
people
Use synonyms
 to experience different cultures from their homes.
For instance
Linking Words
, language-exchange apps enable individuals to talk directly with native speakers and learn about traditions without
traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
show examples
.
Thus
Linking Words
, it is possible to gain cultural understanding through digital tools, making
travel
Use synonyms
 optional rather than essential. In conclusion,
while
Linking Words
traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
show examples
 provides valuable and immersive cultural experiences, technology now makes it easier than ever to learn about other societies from a distance.
Therefore
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,
although
Linking Words
travel
Use synonyms
 can enrich cultural knowledge, I believe it is beneficial but not necessary for understanding other cultures.

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structure
Be more direct in the opening to show your view clearly.
content
Add at least one more real example to back your point.
style
Use short sentences at times to help easy reading.
conclusion
End with a firm yes or no and link it to the question in the final line.
task
Your view is clear and you balance sides well.
coherence
You use good link words to join ideas.
content
You give a reason why travel helps and why it is not needed.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • integration
  • acceptance
  • community
  • customs
  • language
  • societal norms
  • cultural barriers
  • culture shock
  • heritage
  • identity
  • local way of life
  • multicultural
  • diversity
  • fusion
  • positive cultural exchange
  • unfamiliar environment
  • appreciation
  • respect
  • expat communities
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