IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

More and more students are choosing to study at colleges and universities in a foreign country. Do the benefits of studying abroad outweigh the drawbacks?

It is often argued that
students
Use synonyms
 nowadays prefer to leave their home countries and
catch
Verb problem
seize
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 the opportunity to study their bachelor's or master's degree abroad.
While
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this
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 trend offers several benefits , it
also
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 brings some disadvantages.
This
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 essay will examine both the advantages and disadvantages before giving a balanced conclusion. On the one hand, by moving to another
country
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 and enrolling in top-ranked universities , not only
Correct word order
will
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the academic results
will
Correct word order
apply
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improve , but
also
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 the personal skills. Nowadays , the personal skills,especially in
massive
Correct word choice
large
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 companies , are more important than technical ones. Freshly graduated
students
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 should be able to work in teams
as well as
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 speak three or four different languages , so by moving and living in a foreign
country
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 ,
students
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 will learn a new language and discover new cultures by being in touch with other international
students
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.
Moreover
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 , by leaving their comfort zone ,
students
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 will be able to make connections with international companies , especially for
students
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 who come from a third-world
country
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 ,
for example
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, a student coming from Kenya, where the opportunities are declining year by year because of the war ,
he
Correct pronoun usage
they
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 will be able to escape from
this
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 situation and ensure a good personal and financial life.
On the other hand
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 , studying abroad may
also
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 have negative consequences
Punctuation problem
. .people
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.people
Correct your spelling
People
 may lose their personal identity by being influenced by other cultures. Many international
students
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 , especially teenagers ,will be influenced by the new culture and try to do their best to integrate into the new society , which will absolutely lead them to change the way they dress , or they eat , and maybe ,sometimes ,their religion.
In addition
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, after completing their studies, a remarkable number of
students
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 choose to stay in their "new
country
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" rather than returning to their hometown , which will lead to many negative effects on the mother
country
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 , similar to brain drain . In conclusion,
its
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it's
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 true that studying abroad may increase the professional and personal skills for
students
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as well as
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 their connections , but
also
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 can affect their beliefs and their home countries, that's why by taking
this
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 opportunity , people should be able to deal with
such
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 problems to avoid losing their selfs

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planning
Plan your essay before you write. Start with a short intro that says the topic and your view. Then write two body parts, each on one side, and finish with a short end.
structure
Use a clear idea at the start of each paragraph. The first sentence should show the main idea of the paragraph.
coherence
Use easy linking words to show links between ideas, such as first, also, but, and, so.
grammar
Check grammar and spelling. Watch long sentences, and end with a full stop at the end of ideas.
examples
Give one or two real, simple examples to back your point. Do not rely only on general idea.
content
The essay tries to show both sides of the topic.
structure
It has a clear start, a body, and an end.
content
The writer shows a wish to learn and grow.
Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • opportunities
  • personal growth
  • development
  • exposure
  • diverse
  • perspectives
  • language skills
  • job prospects
  • adapting
  • environment
  • financial considerations
  • costs
  • homesickness
  • social isolation
What to do next:
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