IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people think it is better for people to change their career at least once in their life and do different kinds of jobs. Do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

A
career
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 pivot could be a life-changing decision; because of that, the majority of people tend to stay in their
Use synonyms
career
Fix the agreement mistake
careers
show examples
.
Therefore
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, I strongly disagree with
individuals
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 who argue that it is important for working adults to try different kinds of
jobs
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. I strongly disagree with the argument for two main reasons.
Firstly
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, as a matter of fact, someone's first job may affect the entirety of their
career
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.
Therefore
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,
individuals
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 whose first position is as employees of the Human Resources (HR) Division will most likely keep becoming HR specialists for their future
jobs
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.
Although
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 it is important for
individuals
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 to seek which
career
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 path they want to pursue, most people likely favour stable
jobs
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 and sustainable income as priorities.
For example
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, in Indonesia, the selection for new government officials constantly attracts participants.
In addition
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, there were approximately four million registrants for the year of the 2026 formation. Indonesian Government Officials are famous for their stability and zero likelihood of lay-offs.
Secondly
Linking Words
, as economic conditions become more uncertain and job opportunities more limited,
individuals
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 who want to pivot their
Use synonyms
career
Fix the agreement mistake
careers
show examples
 may struggle to find suitable work. When working experiences align with target positions, the pathway towards achieving those ambitions becomes more attainable.
However
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, changing careers needs significant effort.
This
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 might mean the employees are starting over, in terms of working experience and acquired skills.
For instance
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, a Senior HR specialist who wants to move to the Business Development Division may need to start over from a Junior Associate position. In conclusion,
although
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 changing careers may bring satisfaction, working stability is equally crucial. I
therefore
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 remain firmly convinced that people do not need to try different kinds of
jobs
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 for experience. Holding on to a steady job and a sustainable income is a wiser and more practical decision.

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task response
Say what you think in the first line. In the end, restate your view. Give 2 or 3 strong reasons with small facts.
coherence
Link ideas with clear connect words like first, second, also, but, so. Make each paragraph have a clear topic sentence.
examples
Use easy facts. If you give an example, show how it makes your point.
conclusion
End with a short restatement of your view.
task response
Clear stance that the writer does not want many career changes.
coherence
Two clear reasons are given and easy to see.
structure
The essay has start, body, and end that many see as clear.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • career
  • job
  • work
  • change
  • switch
  • learn
  • skill
  • grow
  • new
  • different
  • plan
  • decision
  • choice
  • market
  • demand
  • money
  • salary
  • stability
  • risk
  • time
  • effort
  • future
  • success
  • boredom
  • motivation
  • job satisfaction
  • experience
  • prepare
  • advice
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