IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

In some countries, more and more aldults are continuing to live with their parents even after they have completed education and found jobs. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

In some countries,
the
Correct article usage
apply
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young people
countinuing
Correct your spelling
continue
 to live with their parents even
they
Correct word choice
after they
show examples
are
Verb problem
have
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finish
Replace the word
finished
show examples
education
Correct pronoun usage
their education
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 or found jobs.
Linking Words
this
Fix the agreement mistake
These
show examples
 issues have many pros and cons. In
this
Linking Words
 essay
Add a comma
,
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I will discuss both sides and explain which one
i
Fix capitalization
I
show examples
 believe is stronger. On
cons
Correct article usage
the cons
show examples
sides
Fix the agreement mistake
side
show examples
,
live
Wrong verb form
living
show examples
 with parents will help more adults to
reducing
Wrong verb form
reduce
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 the financial pressure,
specially
Use the right word
especially
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under
Change preposition
with
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rising
Correct article usage
the rising
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 costs of housing in many countries.
Linking Words
instead
Fix capitalization
Instead
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 of paying high
rents
Punctuation problem
rents,
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 they can save
large
Correct article usage
a large
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 part
from
Change preposition
of
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 their salary to use
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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later for building an independent life.
For instance
Linking Words
, buying a house or getting married in future.
In addition
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 situation
provide
Correct subject-verb agreement
provides
show examples
 emotional
supporting
Replace the word
support
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for adults who face
a
Correct article usage
apply
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stress in the
begging
Use the right word
beginning
show examples
 of their professional life
Punctuation problem
. Also
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also
Linking Words
having
Punctuation problem
, having
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 a family around them
will let
Verb problem
makes
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 the transition period more stable and less stressful As for the pros, continuing to live with family may
limits
Wrong verb form
limit
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individuals
Check wording
individuals'
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 independence and personal growth.
there
Fix capitalization
There
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 are a lot of skills like managing the household and making
a
Correct article usage
apply
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major decisions, often the person
learen
Correct your spelling
learns
 when they live alone for
Correct article usage
a longe
show examples
longe
Use the right word
long
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 time.
Linking Words
Fix capitalization
Also
show examples
also
Add a comma
also,
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 there are some parents
may
Correct pronoun usage
who may
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 interfere in their
childerns
Correct your spelling
children's
 personal lives. It will lead to many struggles inside the family.
in
Fix capitalization
In
show examples
this
Linking Words
situation
Add a comma
situation,
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 the adults will feel a lack of freedom
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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 they can not build their own personal
live
Replace the word
life
show examples
in
Fix capitalization
In
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 general, the advantage
outweight
Correct your spelling
outweighs
 the disadvantage,
specialy
Correct your spelling
especially
 when the main reason is economic difficulty.
Linking Words
however
Fix capitalization
However
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, there should be clear boundaries
wthin
Correct your spelling
within
 the home, so that young people can maintain an appropriate level of independence and they continue
develop
Verb problem
to develop
show examples
 their abilities and personalities.

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structure
Plan your essay first. Make a short plan with an intro, 2 sides, and a short ending.
grammar
Use simple, clear words and check small mistakes in spelling and form. See forms like adults, education, senior, etc.
content
Add more facts or one clear example for each idea to back up your point.
task
You say you will discuss both sides and give your own view.
content
You give examples like housing costs and saving money to back up points.
structure
You end with a clear view and a plan for independence.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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