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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people believe that teaching children at home is best for a child’s development while others think that it is important for children to go to school. Discuss the advantages of both methods and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

People have had different
opinion
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opinions
show examples
 when it comes to child
education
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. Some people believe that homeschooling is
the
Correct article usage
an
show examples
 effective way for the development of
chidren
Correct your spelling
children
, whilst others argue that sending
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school to
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children to school
show examples
children
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 plays a vital role.
While
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 I understand people's
concern
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concerns
show examples
 about teaching their kids at
home
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. I still believe that
school
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 is more important for the benefit of
children
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.
This
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 essay
discuss
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discusses
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 both views with valid examples.
One
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On
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 the one hand, the
advnatges
Correct your spelling
advantages
 of homeschooling
is
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are
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 that
children
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 get more attention in their studies. Parents who teach kids at
home
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 can concentrate more on them.
Additionally
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, they can create a strong relationship in understanding each
others
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other
show examples
.
The another
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Another
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 benefit is that they get the flexibility to learn the subjects
on
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at
show examples
 their own pace.
Children
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does
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do
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 not feel pressure and start to enjoy learning.
For instance
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, infants whose
home
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 is their first
school
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 where they learn a plethora
to
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of
show examples
 things by observing their parents. These
phase
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phases
show examples
 develop
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children
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children's
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brain
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brains
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 to learn new activities.
However
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,
this
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 benefit can not
be always
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always be
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 beneficial, it
lessen
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lessens
show examples
 their social interactions and spending all the time at
home
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 can lead to some negative effects.
On the other hand
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, the major benefits
child
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children
show examples
 can get from
school
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is
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are
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 the best
education
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 and personal growth skills. Many Schools hire talented teachers to give their students
best
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the best
show examples
 knowledge. They not only teach subjects in the classrooms but
also
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 pay attention
in
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to
show examples
 their
extra-curriculam
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extracurricular
 activities.
For example
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, Delhi Public
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school
Fix capitalization
School
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 in Delhi is one of the
most
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apply
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top
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school
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schools
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 in India, because most of their students score
Correct article usage
the hightest
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hightest
Correct your spelling
highest
 marks in challenging exams.
Additionally
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, to qualify for higher
education
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a
Punctuation problem
, a
show examples
school
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cerificate
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certificate
 is required in many universities, which
a
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apply
show examples
homeschooling cannot provide. In conclusion,
inspite
Correct your spelling
despite
of
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apply
show examples
many benefits of
home
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 at
school
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,there can
also
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have
Verb problem
be
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 negative repercussions.
Therefore
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,
as per
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in
show examples
 my opinion
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, chidren
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chidren
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children
 should be sent to
school
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 to get the best
education
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 and personal development.

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language
Fix the score and spelling errors that make the meaning hard.
structure
Put a clear topic in the first sentence of each paragraph and stick to it.
content
Give more real examples and explain how they back your point.
coherence
Use simple linking words to connect ideas and keep flow.
style
Keep short sentences and clear points for easy reading.
task
The essay shows a clear view that school is important, which is a good end point.
structure
There is an intro and a final part at the end.
content
There is use of a real example about a school in India to back a point.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • personalized learning
  • cater
  • flexible schedule
  • extracurricular activities
  • safe learning environment
  • bullying
  • peer pressure
  • socialization
  • diversity awareness
  • structured environment
  • discipline
  • punctuality
  • resources and facilities
  • communication skills
  • teamwork
  • specialized subjects
  • experts
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