IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2.5

In some cities public parks and open spaces are being changed into gardens where local residents can grow their own fruit and vegetables. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

Many
people
Use synonyms
 hold many different views that some
cities
Check wording
cities'
show examples
 national
parks
Use synonyms
 and open spaces should be changed into gardens where farmers can grow fresh
fuits
Correct your spelling
fruits
 and crops. Turning
parks
Use synonyms
 into gardens
not
Verb problem
is not
show examples
 only
beneficitial
Correct your spelling
beneficial
 for
Correct article usage
the governmet’s
show examples
governmet’s
Correct your spelling
government’s
 economy, as
if
Change preposition
apply
show examples
local residents grow plants in
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
 and
then
Linking Words
 they will sell them to local markets.
In other
Linking Words
words
Add a comma
words,
show examples
 consumers will buy those products
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 that means
Correct article usage
the administration
show examples
administration
Replace the word
administrative
show examples
 economy will grow, but
also
Linking Words
 for citizens themselves.
For instance
Linking Words
, if
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 our
planet
Punctuation problem
planet,
show examples
 more and more fresh fruits and vegetables individuals
will
Verb problem
apply
show examples
avoid
from
Change preposition
apply
show examples
detrimental foods and
then
Linking Words
 they will turn only to
fresh
Correct article usage
a fresh
show examples
 and healthy diet, as
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 result they cause to minimise the
amount
Check wording
number
show examples
 of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
obese
people
Use synonyms
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
parks
Use synonyms
 are
benefitial
Correct your spelling
beneficial
 for local residents, since
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
 cause them to be in a healthy lifestyle.
For example
Linking Words
, there are
olderly
Correct your spelling
older
people
Use synonyms
 and youngsters who always run every day to keep their weight and avoid obesity, if they run and warm up every day
they
Punctuation problem
, they
show examples
 can be much
more
Fix the agreement mistake
apply
show examples
healthier
Linking Words
then
Use the right word
than
show examples
 normal
people
Use synonyms
.
To conclude
Linking Words
,
parks
Use synonyms
 should be
remained
Verb problem
maintained
show examples
instead
Linking Words
 of
constructing
Verb problem
being converted
show examples
 into land where farmers will grow crops, but it
Linking Words
also
Verb problem
is also
show examples
 essential to have land where they
plants
Wrong verb form
can plant
show examples
, as we can consume more fresh products and stay healthier.

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closure
Be clear on your view in the end.
coherence
Use simple link words like and, but, also to connect ideas.
content
Give one strong reason for and one against, then say which you think is best.
structure
Says both sides of the topic.
content
Gives ideas about health and money as benefits.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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