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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people tend to take temporary jobs (they only work for a few months of the year) so that they have time to do other things. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

There is no denying the fact that having a job plays an important role in our lives.
While
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 some people prefer to take temporary
jobs
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 because they provide more free time for personal activities. There is
also
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 an argument that permanent
jobs
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 are better in opinion.
This
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 essay will discuss both points of view and express my opinion. On the one hand, temporary
jobs
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 allow individual to have more time to focus on their selfs.
For example
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, they have more time to start their own business, continue their education and do other things.
In addition
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, they have renewed their routine.
On the other hand
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, permanent
jobs
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 facilitate having stability and financial security.
Also
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, having a source of funds is very critical to assist your personal goals.
Moreover
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, the main problem that most people fear is the daily routine, but if you have a balance in your life and do something you are interested in, the fear will disappear. In conclusion, despite the advantages of temporary
jobs
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, I believe that permanent
jobs
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 are a better choice for people. Having fixed
jobs
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 provides financial security, saves their money , and achieve their personal and professional goals.

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organization
Make a clear plan. Start with a short intro that states your view. Then write two full body para on each side. End with a strong return.
coherence
Link ideas with easy words like 'also', 'but', 'however', 'so' to help flow.
content
Give more detail or real example for why temp work helps or hurts. Use small but specific point.
grammar
Fix spelling and noun form errors. Check 'selfs' should be 'themselves', 'renewed their routine' awkward, 'funds' vs 'fund'.
content
Clear view in the end.
structure
Uses 'On the one hand' and 'On the other hand' to compare.
organization
Has intro, middle and conclusion.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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