IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The following bar chart shows the different modes of transport esed to travel to and from work in one European in 1960,1980,2000.

The bar chart demonstrates
use
Correct article usage
the use
show examples
 of different modes of transport and walking in Europe in 1960, 1980 and 2000.
Overall
Linking Words
, the
percentage
Use synonyms
 of
people
Use synonyms
 who travelled by
car
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 increased over time,
while
Linking Words
people
Use synonyms
 who travelled on other kinds of transport fell. In 1960, the
percentage
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 of
people
Use synonyms
 who moved on foot
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
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 35% and
this
Linking Words
 figure was the highest ever.
While
Linking Words
usage
Correct article usage
the usage
show examples
 of
Use synonyms
car
Fix the agreement mistake
cars
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 was 8%. The
percentage
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 of commuters who used
bus
Fix the agreement mistake
buses
show examples
 and
bike
Fix the agreement mistake
bikes
show examples
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
show examples
 from 19% to 26%. Over time, in
1980
Punctuation problem
1980,
show examples
 the popular
transports
Fix the agreement mistake
transport
show examples
 were
bus
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buses
show examples
 and
Use synonyms
car
Fix the agreement mistake
cars
show examples
. The former was 27% and the latter 23%. At that time the travelling
on
Change preposition
by
show examples
 bike and walking fell
around
Change preposition
to around
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 20% and 17% respectively.
At the end
Linking Words
 of the period, in
2000
Punctuation problem
2000,
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 the commuters who travelled
on
Change preposition
by
show examples
car
Use synonyms
 were more than 35%, which was higher than other vehicles as
bus
Fix the agreement mistake
buses
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, at around 16%. The
percentage
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 of
people
Use synonyms
 who travelled on foot and by bike fell to 9% and 6% respectively.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words percentage, people, car with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "fell" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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