IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

'Because of advancements in transportation and communication technologies, people can now live and work anywhere they want in many different nations.' Do the advantages outweigh its disadvantages?

There is no denying that advancements in transportation and communication technologies have played a significant role in shaping modern life. These developments allow
people
Use synonyms
 to live and work in different countries more easily than ever before.
While
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 there are some disadvantages to
this
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 trend, I believe that the advantages outweigh the drawbacks. On the one hand, improved transportation and communication technologies have created more opportunities for
people
Use synonyms
 to study and work abroad. Individuals can gain new skills, access better job opportunities, and communicate efficiently with employers and colleagues across the world.
In addition
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, relocating to another country helps
people
Use synonyms
 experience different cultures and learn new languages, which contributes to personal growth and a broader perspective on life.
On the other hand
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, moving to a foreign country can be challenging. Many
people
Use synonyms
 find it difficult to leave their families and friends behind, which may lead to feelings of loneliness.
Furthermore
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, adapting to a new society often involves increased responsibility and difficulty in building new relationships, especially for those who are not familiar with the local culture or language. In conclusion,
although
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 living and working in different countries may bring certain challenges, the benefits are far greater. These advancements promote personal development, improve career prospects, and contribute to economic growth and tourism in many countries.
Therefore
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, the advantages of transportation and communication technologies clearly outweigh their disadvantages.

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development
Add a real example or small fact to show how moving helps learning or job growth.
cohesion
Use more varied links to show contrast and flow in ideas.
task response
Mention one clear limit and then explain why the good side is bigger, to balance view.
grammar
Watch long sentences and keep grammar simple and clear.
tone
Finish with a strong last line that restates your view.
task response
Clear view that advantages win.
cohesion
Good use of ‘On the one hand’ and ‘On the other hand’.
content
Ideas are easy to read and follow.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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