IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

Fast food is a part of life in many places. Some people think it has harmful ‎effects on lifestyle and diet. Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons.‎

Many believe junk
food
Use synonyms
,
although
Linking Words
 common in several regions, has
adverse
Correct article usage
an adverse
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 impact on the eating habits and the way of living of an individual. I agree
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 that
such
Linking Words
 quick eatables can change our habits
causing
Punctuation problem
, causing
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 changes in normal physiology. The primary problem associated with edibles found in restaurants and
take aways
Use the right word
takeaways
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,
Punctuation problem
apply
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 is the use of high
cholesterol containing
Use the right word
cholesterol-containing
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 ingredients.
For example
Linking Words
, burgers and pizzas
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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are consumed in higher quantities by
Correct article usage
the working
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working class
Use the right word
working-class
show examples
 population.
Such
Linking Words
 preparations contain
great
Correct article usage
a great
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 amount of unsaturated fats
,
Punctuation problem
;
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 these fats can accumulate
overtime
Use the right word
over time
show examples
resulting
Punctuation problem
, resulting
show examples
 in dangerous medical conditions. Some studies prove
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 that individuals with
such
Linking Words
 eating habits are more predisposed to severe cardiovascular diseases, as compared to
the ones
Use the right word
those
show examples
 with
healthy
Correct article usage
a healthy
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dieting
Replace the word
diet
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.
Secondly
Linking Words
, quick meals have changed the
age old
Use the right word
age-old
show examples
 tradition of family dinners. With
food
Use synonyms
 available for deliveries and
pick ups
Use the right word
pick-ups
show examples
, cooking has become more of an event than a daily chore. People prefer eating on the go, rather than sitting down for meals.
For instance
Linking Words
, in older generations, dinner tables were a part of family discussions and
bondings
Fix the agreement mistake
bonding
show examples
. In
todays
Check wording
today's
show examples
 world, with the introduction of fast
food
Use synonyms
, there is one less reason to spend time with the family.
This
Linking Words
 changes the culture, promoting singularity over family values. In conclusion,
food
Use synonyms
 available in less time
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 not only
affect
Correct subject-verb agreement
affects
show examples
 our health, but
also
Linking Words
 overtake our culture.
Thus
Linking Words
,
shaping
Wrong verb form
it shapes
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
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society into solidarity and
pushing
Wrong verb form
pushes
show examples
 us towards a sedentary lifestyle.
Therefore
Linking Words
, having
home cooked
Use the right word
home-cooked
show examples
 meals can prove healthier for both
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 our body and our community.

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structure
In the intro, state your view clearly with one line and outline the points you will discuss.
coherence
Use simple linking words to join ideas, like 'also', 'but', 'therefore' to help flow.
content
Check facts about fats and health and keep your claim simple.
lexical
Choose common words and fix word form errors and wrong words (eg 'todays','bondings','take aways').
task response
Add more clear and specific examples to support each point.
structure
End with a clear restatement of your view and a short wrap-up.
task response
The opinion is clear and kept in each part.
coherence
Two ideas are used: health and life at home.
structure
The essay shows effort to give examples and a closing.
Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • calories
  • saturated fats
  • sugar
  • salt
  • obesity
  • diabetes
  • heart disease
  • hypertension
  • nutrient deficiencies
  • vitamins
  • minerals
  • fiber
  • nutritional value
  • culinary skills
  • home-cooked meals
  • long-term healthcare costs
  • environmental issues
  • packaging waste
  • carbon emissions
  • traditional diets
  • balanced meals
  • marketing strategies
  • dietary habits
  • children and teenagers
  • lifestyle implications
What to do next:
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