IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

In some countries, there has been an increase in the number of parents who educate their children themselves at home instead of sending them to school. Do you think the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

in
Fix capitalization
In
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 certain governments, there has been an increase in the
amount
Check wording
number
show examples
 of
parents
Use synonyms
 who tend to educate their
children
Use synonyms
 themselves at
home
Use synonyms
instead
Linking Words
 of sending them to
education
Replace the word
educational
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 institutions.
i
Fix capitalization
I
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 will
elloborate
Correct your spelling
elaborate
 both views and give my opinion. Looking first at the advantages of
home
Use synonyms
 education, safety is one of the main
problem
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problems
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 for many
parents
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. Nowadays,
children
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 face various dangers, and sending them to school without hesitation can sometimes be risky.
Linking Words
for
Fix capitalization
For
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 example, students may get into fights with others or can even be kidnapped. Educating
children
Use synonyms
 at
home
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 can help
parents
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 protect them from
such
Linking Words
 threats.
Secondly
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, every
child
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 is different and comes from a different family background. Schools consist of many students
grew
Correct pronoun usage
who grew
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in
Change preposition
up in
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 different environments, which can negatively affect a well-behaved
child
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. If
parents
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 raise their
child
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carefully
Punctuation problem
carefully,
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 that
child
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 can still adopt bad
behavior
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behaviour
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 from classmates.
For example
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, I learned my first
abuse
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abusive
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 word from
children
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 at my school.
However
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, as everything that
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
advantages
Add a comma
advantages,
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 there are
also
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 certain disadvantages to consider
..
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.
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 The most significant disadvantage is the negative impact on a
child
Use synonyms
’s social life. If
children
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 are forced to study at
home
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, their social lives may deteriorate because they have little interaction with their
piers
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peers
show examples
.
As a result
Linking Words
, they can struggle in their future careers, where communication with people of the same age
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
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 essential. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
 homeschooling has some advantages, I believe that sending
children
Use synonyms
 to school is a better option.

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task response
You show you know the topic and you give a view. To get a higher score, add more full ideas for each point and give clear examples that support them.
coherence and cohesion
Make the essay flow better. Use a clear plan: intro, two body parts, then a conclusion. Use small link words like first, also, but, and finally.
content
You address both sides and give an overall view.
content
You try to use an example from life.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • homeschooling
  • flexibility
  • individual learning style
  • family bonds
  • safer environment
  • bullying
  • peer pressure
  • educational resources
  • socialization
  • commitment
  • diverse viewpoints
  • narrow worldview
  • gaps in learning
  • community programs
  • educational travels
What to do next:
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