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Writing Samples
Band 5

Many students today graduate high school and want to continue studying overseas in another country. Give the advantages and disadvantages of studying abroad.

Society has changed , and that includes the world of education. Many
students
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 graduate from high school and want to leave their
country
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. They plan to study at a University overseas.
This
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 essay will examine the advantages and disadvantages of studying abroad. On the one hand, there are many advantages
in
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to
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 studying abroad. First, they will make new friends.
For
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example
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, when
students
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 study in another
country
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, they find it exciting to meet new
students
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, especially from different
countries
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.
Second,
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this
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 will be
Correct article usage
a
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new
experiences
Fix the agreement mistake
experience
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.
Moreover
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, some universities have programs where
students
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 must participate in volunteer work.
Thus
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, the
students
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 gain valuable, practical experience.
Finally
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, studying overseas allows
students
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 the opportunity to learn about different cultures.
For
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example
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, most universities have quite a diverse group of
students
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. In a nutshell, there are many pros
in
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to
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 going to an overseas university.
On the other hand
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, studying abroad has some disadvantages.
First,
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studying in other
countries
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 makes some
students
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 feel lonely.
For
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example
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, if
students
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 don’t meet others from their home
country
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, they can experience
lonliness
Correct your spelling
loneliness
.
Second,
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studying abroad makes
students
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 feel homesick.
For
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example
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, being away from home and in a new culture may result in feelings of homesickness.
Moreover
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, when the
students
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 can’t come to their
country
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 for festivals, it will make them feel lonely .
Finally
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, some
countries
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 are not safe .
For
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example
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,
students
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 from the Arabian Gulf are used to going out and walking at night. It is actually safe.
Moreover
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, in other
countries
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Add a comma
,
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this
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 is not a safe practice. In conclusion, it is clear to see that
students
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 who choose to study in another
country
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 will benefit greatly, both personally and academically.
However
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, it must be noted that
this
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 step
also
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 has some drawbacks , and the student might encounter some disadvantages.

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task response
Make your introduction tell your view clearly and keep it in each paragraph.
task response
Add one clear example for each point to show the idea well.
coherence cohesion
Use simple links to move from one idea to the next, and check the flow of ideas.
grammar vocabulary
Fix small spelling mistakes and choose very simple words.
structure
End with a short, strong wrap that restates the view and sums up the main ideas.
structure
Clear plan: intro, two body parts, conclusion
content
Some good ideas about study abroad
coherence
Use of linking words in places
Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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