IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2.5

Today many teenagers rely greatly on technology when learning. Is this a positive or negative development?

Globalization
Change the spelling
Globalisation
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 allows
technology
Use synonyms
 innovation to spread. One of the results
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
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 teenagers' reliance
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 artificial
intelligent
Replace the word
intelligence
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 tools, especially when studying. In
this
Linking Words
 essay, I will examine how
imminent
Correct article usage
the imminent
show examples
 dependency of younger
generations'
Check wording
generations
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 toward
technology
Use synonyms
instills
Change the spelling
instils
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 negative effects.
Firstly
Linking Words
, excessive usage of
technology
Use synonyms
 when studying hinders the natural process of trial-and-error.
For instance
Linking Words
, young people who regularly use Artificial Intelligence
tends
Correct subject-verb agreement
tend
show examples
 to seek
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
instant perfection.
Therefore
Linking Words
, the process of learning from past errors is not
occuring
Correct your spelling
occurring
due to
Linking Words
 minimal mistakes.
As a result
Linking Words
, they will struggle to complete tasks on their own.
Secondly
Linking Words
,
tools
Fix the agreement mistake
tool
show examples
 dependency deteriorates the confidence of adolescents
with
Change preposition
in
show examples
 their own ability. Nowadays,
for example
Linking Words
, younger generations will upload their works and essays AI tool to make sure no
errors
Correct word order
apply
show examples
grammatically
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grammatical
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,
structurally
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structural
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, or even
substantially
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substantial
show examples
.
Correct word order
errors.
show examples
Thus
Linking Words
, they are convinced that their works are insufficient for grading, except when AI helps them to correct
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
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. In sum, adolescents are becoming more dependent
to utilize
Change preposition
on utilising
show examples
 advanced
technology
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 to gain knowledge than
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
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 used to.
Consequently
Linking Words
, teenager neglects the process of learning by doing
and
Correct word choice
which
show examples
 can lead to low self-esteem, which
are
Verb problem
is one of
show examples
 the negative outcomes of prolonged
technology
Use synonyms
 reliance.

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task
Make your main point clear at the start and keep your view the same through the essay.
structure
Use linking words to move ideas well, for example to add points, to compare, or to give an example.
content
Give one strong example for each idea and explain it.
grammar
Check grammar small rules: 'One of the results is' not 'are'; agree verbs with noun; fix plural and article use.
idea
The essay shows a clear choice and view on the topic.
structure
It has an opening, body and ending, which helps reading.
example
There is use of examples about AI in study.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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