The diagram below shows the life cycle of a salmon, from egg to adult fish.

The diagram gives information about how salmon
lives
Correct subject-verb agreement
live
show examples
and
grows
Correct subject-verb agreement
grow
show examples
, from being an egg to a big fish.
Overall
Linking Words
, we can see that they live in two types of water, the river and the ocean;
also
Linking Words
,
it is clear that
Linking Words
they take different forms or stages throughout their life cycle.
According to
Linking Words
the data given, the period starts from the incubation phase, and it means
them
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
being
Wrong verb form
are
show examples
eggs;
then
Linking Words
they turn into the emergence level. After it, they grow in shape and size, and they are in an environment called the freshwater rearing;
then
Linking Words
they pass through the estuary, merging
in
Change preposition
with
show examples
the sea. When they are in the sea, they begin to move to the rearing areas, and
while
Linking Words
that is
Linking Words
happening, they become more mature and developed;
then
Linking Words
they move to the spawning place, and that means back at the stream, and
that is
Linking Words
officially when they are an adult.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "that is".
Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
Vocabulary: The word "gives" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "move" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Life cycle
  • Salmon
  • Spawn
  • Egg
  • Alevin
  • Fry
  • Parr
  • Smolt
  • Freshwater
  • Saltwater
  • Adaptation
  • Physiological changes
  • Habitat
  • Predators
  • Survival
  • Ecosystem
  • Migratory patterns
  • Reproductive cycle
  • Environmental factors
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