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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart below gives information about the ratio of income to spending (in dollars) by Americans by age range in 2013. Summerise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant

The bar chart provides key information about the percentage of
income
Use synonyms
 to expenditures by different ages in the United States. The units are measured in
dollars
Use synonyms
.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is clear from the graph that
people
Use synonyms
 who are between 35 to 54 represent the highest
income
Use synonyms
.
In addition
Linking Words
, 25 and
75-year- old
Correct your spelling
75-year-olds
 had almost the same salaries and spending,
whereas
Linking Words
 the
income
Use synonyms
 of
65
Correct determiner usage
those 65
show examples
 to 74 decreased significantly.
According to
Linking Words
 what is shown,
to begin
Linking Words
 with, individuals aged 25 had less than 30000
dollars
Use synonyms
 , and their expenditure was more than their
income
Use synonyms
. The
income
Use synonyms
 of 25 to 34 increased significantly to nearly 60000
dollars
Use synonyms
.
People
Use synonyms
 aged between 35 and 54 had almost similar salaries and spending, which is less than 80000
dollars
Use synonyms
. In terms of
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 the earnings of elderly
people
Use synonyms
 aged 55 to 64 years decline slightly to approximately 73000
dollars
Use synonyms
 And their spending was more than 50000.
In contrast
Linking Words
, those aged 65 and 74 years had more than 5000
dollars
Use synonyms
 and spent less than 5000
dollars
Use synonyms
.
While
Linking Words
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 aged 75 years were spending all their salary, which is nearly 30000
dollars
Use synonyms
.

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Basic structure: Use less body paragraphs.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words income, dollars, people with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "nearly" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "significantly" was used 2 times.
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