Throughout the history, people dream to live in a perfect society while they haven’t agreed how the ideal society would be like. What is the most important element you think to make a perfect society? What do people do to achieve an ideal society?

Throughout the decade, the population in every country has dreamed about having a perfect
society
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for their life extremely comfortable and enjoyable. In order to create a perfect
civilization
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civilisation
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,
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there are various reasons
,
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:
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peace
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,
justice
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and
harmony
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.
Initially
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, the significant reason for making a perfect
state
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is
peace
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. When
apply
Verb problem
apply
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society
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has
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applies
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a
peace
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agreement, the community will have
a
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apply
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significant growth in infrastructure, agriculture, industry, and hospitality, which creates numerous opportunities
of
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for
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every job for
civilians
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.
However
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, living in
peace
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,
civilians
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could learning every knowledge,
such
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as new language, new skill, challenging experience, and latest technology from other various developed countries.
As well as
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with new skills contributing knowledge, a community will
also
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become a developed country like other countries.
For instance
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, around three decades of full
peace
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agreement brought Cambodia from civil war and
insecure
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an insecure
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state
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to a nowadays Cambodia. A small step toward, Cambodia
finally
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has a significant growth in infrastructure, agriculture, industry, technology and education.
On the other hand
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,
peace
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has to contribute
with
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to
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justice
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because without law, several people will exhibit a terrible attitude , hurting or harming other weak
civilians
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. For a solution,
civilians
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must follow the law to avoid
an
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apply
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insecure
action
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actions
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, abusive behaviour, and other accidents in all cases.
However
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,
harmony
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is
also
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part of the perfect
state
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, which creates fun activities, sports, production industries ,
such
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as cooking shows, singing, dancing, and TV programs. In conclusion,
Peace
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brings a peaceful
state
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with development in all major and
justice
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and
harmony
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create a secure
society
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where
civilians
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can do great business and communicate
each
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with each
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other and
also
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enjoy various activities together.
Overall
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,
peace
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contributed
justice
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and
harmony
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can bring a dream-perfect
society
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with security,
peace
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and happiness.

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task
State your main point clearly at the start and show it in the body with a plan for how to reach it.
task
Add more ideas and give clear steps. The essay repeats a few points and has little detail.
content
Give more concrete examples or facts to back the view.
content
The writer shows a view that peace is a key to a good state.
structure
There is a clear end that sums up the idea.
Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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