IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Scientists agree that many people eat too much junk food and it is damaging their health. Some people think that this problem can be solved by educating people, while others believe that education will not work. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Junk food
consume
Replace the word
consumption
show examples
 is a huge habit amongst every community, and it is more harmful
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 their health.
Linking Words
However
Add a comma
However,
show examples
 some
profesionalist
Correct your spelling
professionals
 of science argue that increase of
people
Check wording
people's
show examples
 awareness and
educate
Wrong verb form
educating
show examples
 them about the negativity of these can
be diminished
Wrong verb form
diminish
show examples
 the
threaten
Replace the word
threat
show examples
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
 some
extend
Replace the word
extent
show examples
,
while
Linking Words
 others think
this
Linking Words
 may not work. My perspective is
increase
Correct article usage
an increase
show examples
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
awareness

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task
Explain both sides of the issue and add clear reasons for your view.
task
Add a short intro and a brief ending that rest in your view.
coherence
Use simple link words to show order, like first, next, but, and for example.
content
The idea of change shows you think about health.
structure
You try to give your own view in the end.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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