IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Scientist agree that many people eat too much junk food and it is damaging their health.Some people think thatthis problem can be solved by educating people. while others believe that education will not work. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Consume
Replace the word
Consumption
show examples
 of junk
food
Use synonyms
 is a massive habit amongst every community, and it is more harmful for their health.
Linking Words
However
Add a comma
However,
show examples
 some
profesionalist
Correct your spelling
professionals
 of science argue that increase of
people
Check wording
people's
show examples
 awareness and
educate
Wrong verb form
educating
show examples
 them about the negativity of these can
be diminished
Wrong verb form
diminish
show examples
 the
threaten
Replace the word
threat
show examples
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
 some
extend
Replace the word
extent
show examples
,
while
Linking Words
 others think
this
Linking Words
 may not work. My perspective is increase of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
awareness and
educate
Wrong verb form
educating
show examples
 the public about the disadvantages would be
having
Verb problem
apply
show examples
a progress on
this
Linking Words
. As a public
knowing
Replace the word
knowledge
show examples
materials
Fix the agreement mistake
material
show examples
,
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the price of
food
Use synonyms
 can be
highlited
Correct your spelling
highlighted
 with
it's
Use the right word
its
show examples
calaries
Correct your spelling
calories
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
somewhere in the
restarants
Correct your spelling
restaurants
.
This
Linking Words
 will
be effected
Wrong verb form
affect
show examples
 to
selectness
Replace the word
selectivity
show examples
 of
food
Use synonyms
 .Some individuals always try to choose
low calaries
Correct your spelling
low-calorie
food
Use synonyms
, and they would give priority
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
healthiness
Use synonyms
. Not only that, community
authourities
Correct your spelling
authorities
must
be educated
Wrong verb form
educate
show examples
 the public about some fitness programmes, and teach them about maintaining
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
fitness and the way of burning
some
Fix the agreement mistake
apply
show examples
calaries
Correct your spelling
calories
of
Change preposition
from
show examples
 their
consuming
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
food
Use synonyms
.
Check wording
consumption.
show examples
However
Linking Words
 , to illustrate
about
Change preposition
that
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
educating is not
enoughto
Correct your spelling
enough to
 increase the level of
healthiness
Use synonyms
 .Because the reason why they say like
this
Linking Words
 is
some
Correct word choice
that some
show examples
 people
more
Verb problem
are more
show examples
 attracted to the
tastetiness
Correct your spelling
tastiness
 of the
food
Use synonyms
. These
charactors
Correct your spelling
characters
 always follow tasty
recepies
Correct your spelling
recipes
. Most of the
restarants
Correct your spelling
restaurants
 make their
food
Use synonyms
according to
Linking Words
 the varieties of public taste
not
Punctuation problem
, not
show examples
 for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
healthiness
Use synonyms
 or
nutritious
Replace the word
nutrition
show examples
.
Additionally
Linking Words
 , tastiness can be maximum with the
sweatness
Correct your spelling
sweetness
 and with the
spicyness
Correct your spelling
spiciness
. More
sweatness
Correct your spelling
sweetness
 and more
spicyness
Correct your spelling
spiciness
Verb problem
are always
show examples
always not
Correct word order
not always
show examples
Use synonyms
healthiness
Replace the word
healthy
show examples
. Cause of these
Check wording
causes
show examples
will distract
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the human metabolism and may create some health diseases. To
sumup
Correct your spelling
sum up
this
Linking Words
 essay, as we said, too much
junkfood
Correct your spelling
junk food
spoil
Correct subject-verb agreement
spoils
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
public health
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 when
chose
Wrong verb form
choosing
show examples
 their own
food
Use synonyms
, if they can be
Correct article usage
a
show examples
little bit
strick
Use the right word
strict
show examples
 to
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
balance
Replace the word
balanced
show examples
 diet
like
Punctuation problem
, like
show examples
Correct article usage
a balance
show examples
balance
Replace the word
balanced
show examples
 nutritious
shedule
Correct your spelling
schedule
, that would be more appropriate to have a better
livestyle
Correct your spelling
lifestyle
and
healthy
Correct article usage
a healthy
show examples
 life.

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structure
Plan before you write. Make a short intro, two body parts (one for each view), and a short final line with your own view.
coherence
Use one good topic sentence in each paragraph and use linking words to show how ideas are linked.
language
Check spelling and grammar. Fix common mistakes like 'calaries' to 'calories', and keep words simple and correct.
content
Give a real example or idea to back up each point.
content
The writer tries to discuss both sides and give own view.
content
Some ideas on how to cut junk food use and the need for health talks.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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