In this technological era, personal information is held oncomputers by many companies and organizations. Do youthink the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

In the digital age,the
storage
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of personal
information
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on
computers
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by corporations and establishments has raised significant concerns about its
overall
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impact.
While
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this
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technology offers certain advantages
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such
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, such
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as environmental conservation and enhanced business efficiency, its drawbacks, mainly the risks of
data
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breaches and manipulation, are more pronounced
which
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, which
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will be explored in the following paragraphs. On the one hand, storing personal
information
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on
computers
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offers significant advantages, primarily in terms of space conservation and environmental
benefits
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. By using advanced digital
storage
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systems, businesses and
organizations
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organisations
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can significantly reduce their reliance on paper, thereby
minimizing
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minimising
show examples
their environmental
impacts
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impact
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Additionally
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,
this
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method
enab lesrapid
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enables rapid
data
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processing and access to
information
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, which enhances business operations and customer services.
For instance
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, the banking system in Vietnam has long employed 
this
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digital
storage
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approach, facilitating efficient transactions and customer interactions.
Overall
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,
this
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type of
storage
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not only
benefits
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the environment but
also
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supports the effective functioning of businesses and establishments.
While
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the
benefits
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of storing personal
information
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on
computers
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,
such
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as space conservation and environmental
benefits
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, are significant, the drawbacks are more pronounced.
This
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method of
storage
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poses risks like
data
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breaches, which can lead to identity theft and fraud, particularly with the advancement of artificial intelligence. 
Additionally
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, when companies and
organizations
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organisations
show examples
collect and
analyze
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analyse
show examples
wide
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large
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amounts of
data
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stored on
computers
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, they can potentially manipulate consumer
behavior
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behaviour
show examples
, influencing future choices.
For instance
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, social media platforms have already used stored
data
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to tailor content to individual preferences, potentially reinforcing biases through limited exposure.These negative consequences underscore the need for careful consideration of the risks associated with
this
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storing
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storage
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technology. In conclusion,
while
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storing personal
data
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on
computers
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offers environmental and operational
benefits
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, its drawbacks, including identity theft and manipulation of individual
behavior
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behaviour
show examples
, significantly outweigh its advantages.
Therefore
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, careful
consideation
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consideration
is necessary for future adoption of
this
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technology.

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structure
In each paragraph, put one main idea and stick to it. Finish with a clear view on which side you feel is strongest.
examples
Give more strong examples that show how the idea works, and keep the examples simple.
grammar
Fix small mistakes like typos and wrong spelling so ideas read well.
cohesion
Use simple link words to join ideas, like also, but, however, for example, in addition.
conclusion
End with a clear statement on your view so the reader knows your final thought.
content
Shows both sides of the issue with a view at the end.
example
Uses some good examples to back ideas.
structure
Has a clear start and finish with an overall view.
Your opinion

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