IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2

Being a celebrity –such as a famous film start or sports personality- brings problems as well as benefits. Do you think that being a celebrity brings more benefits or more problems?

One catch here is the design. The experiment uses 470nm blue light to drive ChR2 terminals, and the
serotonin
Use synonyms
 signal is GABA-5HT, a cpGFP-based
sensor
Use synonyms
. So, the fluorescence jump (↑) could come from light itself ending up in the signal, not from
serotonin
Use synonyms
 release. Change the opsin. Keep GRAB-5HT.
the
Fix capitalization
The
show examples
 stimulation is 470nm, and GRAB-5HT is
cpGFP based
Use the right word
cpGFP-based
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, so the blue-light step sits right alongside the GFP read. That
florescence
Use the right word
fluorescence
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 rise is hard to trust. It can just be the stimulation light sneaking into the trace. Move to a
red- shifted
Use the right word
red-shifted
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 opsin and the stimulation colour is no longer sitting on top of the readout. Still, GRAB-5HT stays green, so the signal is easier to read. A different biosensor could work too, but
then
Linking Words
 it is new optics, new tuning, and a
sensor
Use synonyms
 that can behave a bit differently. I’d rather change the opsin. I’d go with a
low affinity
Use the right word
low-affinity
show examples
serotonin
Use synonyms
sensor
Use synonyms
. If
serotonin
Use synonyms
 release is large, a
high affinity
Use the right word
high-affinity
show examples
sensor
Use synonyms
 will saturate early. After that, the trace is hard to trust. It can just be pinned near the top. Low affinity leaves more room, so the signal still has somewhere to go as
release
Correct article usage
the release
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rise
Correct subject-verb agreement
rises
show examples
.

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task response
Directly answer the prompt. State your view on whether benefits or problems are more at the start of the essay.
task response
Stay on the topic. Do not use a topic that is not about being a celebrity.
coherence cohesion
Write in clear paragraphs. Use one main idea in each paragraph, with a short intro and a small end.
coherence cohesion
Link ideas with simple words like first, next, but, so, for example to help flow.
task response
Give a short example to show your point about celebs. This can help show your view.
task response
There is a plan to argue a point.
coherence cohesion
Some order of ideas can be made clear if linked well.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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