The chart below shows the sleep patterns of people in five different occupations according to a Canadian study. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph provides key information about the sleep patterns of people in five different occupations: students, truck drivers, full-time mothers, business executives, and doctors
Punctuation problem
, regarding
show examples
regarding
Change preposition
according
show examples
to a Canadian study.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is clear from the figure that most people sleeping in mednight between 1-3 am,
while
Linking Words
the lowest time people sleep on from 4 to 7
pm
Use synonyms
.
In addition
Linking Words
, students and business executives have regular time to sleep.
According to
Linking Words
what is shown in the table, most young students sleep between 11
pm
Use synonyms
and 7 am. Truck drivers sleep at different times; sometimes they sleep from 7-10 am or from 4 and 7
pm
Use synonyms
. Some mother who have full-time to care for their children take some rest time between 10
pm
Use synonyms
-1 am, 3-7am, or 1-3pm. Individuals who work as executives in business sleep from 11
pm
Use synonyms
or 5 am.
Lastly
Linking Words
, doctors sleep from 1-3 am,
while
Linking Words
other doctors 5-7 am.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 67%.
Vocabulary: Replace the words pm with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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