IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Students should be taught academic knowledge so that they can pass exams, and skills such as cooking or dressing should not be taught. To what extent do you agree/disagree?

It is argued that a learner should be
only taught
Correct word order
taught only
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 academic knowledge to handle exams in schools rather than learning alternative skills
such
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 as cooking, dressing and crafting. I believe that not all pupils are capable of fitting
in
Change preposition
into
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traditional
Correct article usage
the traditional
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 education system,
as well as
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 a diverse community require various talents and techniques. First of all, a considerable number of students
equip
Wrong verb form
are equipped
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 with non-academic gifts
such
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 as art and sports. To illustrate, many high-profile and
brillant
Correct your spelling
brilliant
 athletes don't outperform on educational subjects, but they can express outstanding performance
on
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in
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 their own aspects. A human being is not a robot, so we don't need
to everyone
Correct word order
everyone to
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 have
same
Correct article usage
the same
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 abilities and standards on academic knowledge. If we put all mankind in
same
Correct article usage
the same
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 public's expectation, numerous geniuses will be ignored.
As a result
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, Van
gogh
Fix capitalization
Gogh
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are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
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 not able to occur in our community.
In addition
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, a society desires diverse talents
instead
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 of only traditional
professtionals
Correct your spelling
professionals
.
For instance
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, many people are affected by a film or a well-known football player.
No
Punctuation problem
No,
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 an occupation is
superior
Rephrase
not superior
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than
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to
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 others.
Additionally
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, our developments should not be confined by academic
standard
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standards
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.
Although
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 a
professtional
Correct your spelling
professional
 may achieve a higher social status and income, most
of
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apply
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normal people tend to develop
other
Use the right word
their
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 own skills.
Thus
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, a person can develop their own gifts
are
Correct pronoun usage
that are
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 much significant than how score on
transcript
Correct article usage
the transcript
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. In conclusion,
although
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 getting an excellent result
on
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in
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 education
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
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 able to seek a stable and decent job in future, demonstrating your own gifts and developing a diverse community are more crucial in our world. In recent years, people tend to host their own lives rather than satisfying others'
expectation
Fix the agreement mistake
expectations
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.

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organization
Plan your essay. Have a short intro, then one main idea in each paragraph, and finish with a clear end.
grammar
Use simple words. Check your spelling and grammar.
content
Give clear examples for each idea, so readers see why you think so.
cohesion
Link ideas with simple words to show order and flow.
content
It shows good thoughts on how not all kids learn the same way.
content
Some real ideas on making school fit many kinds of people.
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