IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people argue that all experimentation on animals is bad and should be outlawed. However, others believe that important scientific discoveries can be made from animal experiments. Can experimentation on animals be justified? Are there any alternatives?

Some say that genetic and other experiments on animals have to be legally forbidden.
On the contrary
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, Others think that unique and efficient scientific inventions can be discovered by using the method. In
this
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 essay, I will discuss the controversy and state my own opinion. First of all, every type of cruelty can't be justified just to bring harmony in human life. All living creatures have to be equal when it comes to their lives; as
a
Correct article usage
the
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 only intellectual creature, we mustn't treat our kind more.
For example
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, killing to eat is a normal way of survival , and all animals do, but killing to test is recorded only by our kind
as
Punctuation problem
, as
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 no other animal experiments on each other.
Therefore
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, the privilege is not given to anything , including us.
Furthermore
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, we, humans, have been surviving and adapting to every situation thoroughly for many centuries, and can find potential solutions to avoid
this
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 vile approach. In the 21st century, engineers and researchers use computer simulations to test many things, namely, engineering and
surgery
Replace the word
surgical
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 operations.
For instance
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, many aviation schools, either colleges, have simulators that are able to show them real-life simulations.
That is
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 why, if they keep improving the technology, I believe they can sooner reach a more advanced level
which
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, which
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 enables humans to experiment with everything inside the artificial world.
To sum up
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, we can't take animals objectively
as well as
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 experiment subjects. We are not the lords of
this
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 world , but we have to live with other creatures in peace. In conclusion, to build a universe in which everything exists without any fear, we have to develop computer technology.

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structure
Plan your essay with a short start, then 2-3 clear ideas in their own blocks, and finish with a short end.
content
Show both sides, then give your own view. Use one idea per paragraph with a clear link to the next.
coherence
Use simple joins to move from idea to idea: First, Also, But, For example.
grammar
Check grammar and word use; make tense and article use correct.
task
You state your own view clearly.
content
You use an example of computer sim in real life use.
style
The writing is easy to read with simple words.
Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • scientific breakthroughs
  • ethical concerns
  • alternatives
  • animal testing
  • moral implications
  • ethical considerations
  • vivisection
  • research methods
  • ethical dilemmas
  • animal welfare
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