IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people think that the remain purpose of schools is to turn children into good citizens and workers, rather to benefit them as individuals. To what extend to do you agree or disagree

Many people think that the remain purpose of
school
Use synonyms
 is to turn
childern
Correct your spelling
children
 into good citizens and workers , rather
to
Correct word choice
than to
show examples
benfit
Correct your spelling
benefit
 them as individuals. Schools
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 a safe place for
childern
Correct your spelling
children
,
its
Use the right word
it's
show examples
 a place where they feel safe and more like a home . One of the main reasons that they go to
school
Use synonyms
 almost
everyday
Use the right word
every day
show examples
 and they spend more than eight hours in
school
Use synonyms
 with their teachers and
friends
Punctuation problem
friends,
show examples
 they
adappt
Correct your spelling
adapt
knew
Use the right word
new
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 ideas and from their
friends
Check wording
friends'
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personality
Fix the agreement mistake
personalities
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 that shape the way they think now.
Ofcourse
Correct your spelling
Of course
Use synonyms
school
Punctuation problem
, school
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 will
benfit
Correct your spelling
benefit
 them as
indivuals
Correct your spelling
individuals
 but not as much as being ready
foe
Use the right word
for
show examples
 work , because they are already
ton spend
Replace the word
too busy spending
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this
Linking Words
 much time studying
which
Punctuation problem
, which
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equalls
Correct your spelling
equals
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
working when it comes to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
timing , plus
also
Linking Words
 getting to know
alot
Correct your spelling
a lot
 of people from
alot
Correct your spelling
a lot
 of
diffrent
Correct your spelling
different
 backgrounds and that
make
Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
show examples
 them aware
about
Change preposition
of
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 the people they will face outside the world and
specially
Use the right word
especially
show examples
 in work. In my opinion
Use synonyms
school
Check wording
school's
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 main purpose is to turn students into good citizens and workers rather than to
benfit
Correct your spelling
benefit
 them as
indivisuals
Correct your spelling
individuals
,
And
Fix capitalization
and
show examples
this
Linking Words
 is what we mainly focus on
children
Change preposition
in children
show examples
 to let them be a good, kind, and
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
independent student
that
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
 can know what is right and what is wrong and can take their own
desicions
Correct your spelling
decisions
 for
future
Correct article usage
the future
show examples
.
School
Use synonyms
doesnt
Correct your spelling
doesn't
 only educate the
studends
Correct your spelling
students
Punctuation problem
, its
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its
Correct pronoun usage
it
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teach
Correct subject-verb agreement
teaches
show examples
 them
life wise
Use the right word
life-wise
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 how to
act
Punctuation problem
act,
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 how to decide
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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 how to have
your
Correct pronoun usage
their
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 own identity and personality. In
conclosion
Correct your spelling
conclusion
as
Punctuation problem
, as
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like
Change preposition
apply
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everyone
Correct subject-verb agreement
says
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say
Punctuation problem
say,
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 schools
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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 our second home
our
Punctuation problem
, our
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 safe place
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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were
Use the right word
where
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 we get educated .And
i
Fix capitalization
I
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 can proudly say as
im
Correct your spelling
I'm
an
Correct article usage
a
show examples
22 years old
Correct your spelling
22-year-old
student
Punctuation problem
student,
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school
Use synonyms
defined
Wrong verb form
defines
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 who
truly i
Correct word order
I truly
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 am, and the real Sara today. It made me who
i
Fix capitalization
I
show examples
 am now .

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task response
Your view is clear, but the essay does not give enough reasons or clear examples. Add two or three simple ideas and give a small example for each.
coherence
Put ideas in clear paragraphs. Use a plan: intro with what you think, two body parts with why and small examples, and a short conclusion.
grammar
Use short, correct sentences. Check spelling and fix big mistakes so the writing is easy to read.
task response
You state your view and stay on the topic.
coherence
You refer to school life and personal view, which helps the topic.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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