IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

1. In some cultures old age is more valued, while in other cultures youth is more valued. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

In the contemporary era, some people think that old age is more valuable than the youngest generation.
Although
Linking Words
 the former is considered
more
Fix the agreement mistake
apply
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wiser and
follow
Correct subject-verb agreement
follows
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 the traditions, I think that
new comers
Use the right word
newcomers
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more
Verb problem
are more
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 active
to use
Change preposition
in using
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 technologies and have
ability
Correct article usage
the ability
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 to take over the world. On the one hand,
X
Correct article usage
the X
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generation has discovered
the
Correct article usage
apply
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world history
by
Change preposition
through
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 their sagacious decisions.
Firstly
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, there are many famous scientists who earned fame by working hard and repeating thousands of their ideas and experiments just to determine the cause of a disease and wasted their whole life without letting go concept.
Secondly
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,
such
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 persons are
also
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 precious to our country as they always put the traditions on top and
mentioned
Wrong verb form
mention
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as
Correct pronoun usage
them as
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 the
more
Use the right word
most
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 crucial part to live a generous life.Indeed, history is rich with dedicated ones as they are
only
Correct article usage
the only
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 way that many of us are still celebrating events and repeating the
perivous
Correct your spelling
previous
 with moral ethics. On the flip side, techno students have more place in society's growth. Specifically, taking into account that we live in
modern
Correct article usage
the modern
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 era,
fast moving
Use the right word
fast-moving
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 technology has changed the thinking criteria
which
Punctuation problem
, which
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 boosts the Gen Z and Alpha energy level.
Thus
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, the upsurge
increasing
Verb problem
apply
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in these creative minds made
planet
Correct article usage
the planet
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better
Correct article usage
a better
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to
Check wording
place to
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 live with fun. Artificial
Intelligent
Replace the word
Intelligence
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,
for instance
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, has
the
Correct article usage
a
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 greater impact across industries like healthcare, textile, paper ,and so on. In 2019, China
press
Fix capitalization
Press
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 pointed
that
Change preposition
out that
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 youth
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
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 discovered
the
Correct article usage
apply
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70% of
planet
Correct article usage
the planet
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 in depth by using AI. I believe that juniors should add some positive
aspect
Fix the agreement mistake
aspects
show examples
 to
make better
Verb problem
improve
show examples
 in their current field by using the devices accurately. In conclusion, outdated societies have
best
Correct article usage
the best
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decision
Check wording
decision-making
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 power
as well as
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 respect their moral
principals
Use the right word
principles
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which
Punctuation problem
, which
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 is a helpful lesson for
updated
Correct article usage
the updated
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 culture. I bet that beginners are more
wonderful
Correct word choice
likely
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 to overcome by using their smart mind and intellectual level because they can make history perfect.

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structure
Make a simple plan before you write. Have 3 parts: view of old age, view of youth, and your view, with a short ending.
grammar
Use short, clear sentences and check that each sentence has a subject and a verb.
content
Give one or two clear, easy examples that fit your point.
coherence
Link ideas with small words like 'and', 'but', 'also', 'however' to show how ideas fit together.
lexical
Avoid hard words that are not in common use. Prefer 'old', 'young', 'technology', etc.
balance
The essay tries to show both sides of the idea.
content
There are some ideas about how youth can use tech and can help the world.
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