IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

High school students are usually not good at managing money. What are the reasons? What are the solutions?

Many pupils are not
more
Fix the agreement mistake
apply
show examples
likely to manage their pocket
money
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 essay will examine the reasons and suggest feasible solutions.
To begin
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, most secondary school learners lack
of
Change preposition
apply
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financial knowledge and working
experience
Use synonyms
. To illustrate, most students
don't be
Verb problem
are not
show examples
 educated to invest and allocate their own
wealth
Use synonyms
.
Although
Linking Words
 some high school students take
economy
Replace the word
economics
show examples
 or
account
Replace the word
accounting
show examples
 as elective subjects, these courses only focus on academic exams and textbooks rather than
teach
Wrong verb form
teaching
show examples
 them practical skills to manage
money
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.
Besides
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, a great deal of learners have
not
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no
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working
Replace the word
work
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experiences
Fix the agreement mistake
experience
show examples
.
This
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 leads to
have
Verb problem
apply
show examples
wrong notions about
money
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, so they underestimate the difficulty of earning
money
Use synonyms
.
As a result
Linking Words
, they are bad at manipulating their
wealth
Use synonyms
. In
respones
Correct your spelling
response
 to the above reasons mentioned, education authorities should teach appropriate
wealth
Use synonyms
 values and provide simulation job
experience
Use synonyms
. First of all, every secondary
schools
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school
show examples
 should offer basic finance lessons to senior pupils. If students are equipped with essential fiscal knowledge, they can balance
in
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apply
show examples
their expenditure and income.
In addition
Linking Words
, participating in
simulation
Correct article usage
a simulation
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 career environment can
Use synonyms
experience
Verb problem
provide experience
show examples
to
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in
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 how hard get
salary
Correct article usage
a salary
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. At the same time, the young generation can
more
Rephrase
better
show examples
 understand
to
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apply
show examples
their parents.
As a result
Linking Words
, pupils are able to enhance awareness of
wealth
Use synonyms
 in theory and practice. In conclusion, a lack of fiscal knowledge and working
experiences
Fix the agreement mistake
experience
show examples
 among teenagers is very reasonable and common.
Therefore
Linking Words
, education authorities should offer fundamental finance lessons and
chances
Check wording
opportunities
show examples
 to
Use synonyms
experience
Verb problem
gain experience
show examples
 in
work
Check wording
the workplace
show examples
.

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task response
Plan your answer with three blocks: reason 1, reason 2, and solution. Each block should have a main idea and a short detail.
coherence
Use simple links to show flow, like 'first', 'then', 'also', 'finally'.
coherence
Each paragraph should start with a topic sentence about the main idea and stay on that idea.
grammar
Check grammar: fix phrases like 'lacks of' -> 'a lack of'; avoid hard word order; keep verbs simple.
lexical
Add small real life example to show why money skills matter, like saving for a goal or earning some pay.
structure
The essay has a clear aim and tries to cover both reasons and ways to help.
coherence
Some linking words are used to connect ideas, showing a plan.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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