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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The charts below show the changes in ownership of electrical appliances and amount of time spent doing housework and households in one country between 1920 and 2019.

The first line graph illustrates how many homes had electrical appliances in a particular country from 1920 to
2019
Punctuation problem
2019,
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 counted
in
Change preposition
as
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percentage
Correct article usage
a percentage
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. The second line graph gives the hours taken for house chores per residence in the same region over the same years.
Overall
Linking Words
, in
1920
Punctuation problem
1920,
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 the electrical appliances were quite unpopular, which later shifted towards their mass usage in
2019
Punctuation problem
2019,
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 corresponding to the
decrese
Correct your spelling
decrease
 in the time needed for house chores.
Refrigerator
Fix the agreement mistake
Refrigerators
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 and
vaccum
Correct your spelling
vacuum
cleaner
Fix the agreement mistake
cleaners
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 were used by 5% and 30% of the population
in
Change preposition
at
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 the beginning of the century, respectively.
Although
Linking Words
,
Punctuation problem
apply
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 their popularity increased over
decades
Correct article usage
the decades
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,
fridge
Correct article usage
the fridge
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 surpassed the need
of
Change preposition
for
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Correct article usage
a vaccum
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vaccum
Correct your spelling
vacuum
 cleaner in the houses, near the start of 1940 and by the end of the century, every household had
this
Linking Words
 pair in ownership.
Comaparatively
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Comparatively
,
washing
Correct article usage
the washing
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 machine had a
fluctualing
Correct your spelling
fluctuating
 trend. Almost 40% of the families were already using them
in
Change preposition
at
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 the start of 1920. There was a slow rise seen
untill
Correct your spelling
until
 1960, reaching 70%
Linking Words
subsequently
Punctuation problem
subsequently,
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 a 5% dip was noted in the next couple of decades,
otherwise
Linking Words
 used by almost 80% of the crowd in 2019. There was a
five fold
Use the right word
fivefold
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 decrease seen in the hours spent doing
house work
Use the right word
housework
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 by the end of 2019. Only 10 hours were
sufficent
Correct your spelling
sufficient
 in a week per household by the end of the trend.

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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • ownership
  • electrical appliances
  • housework
  • time frame
  • variables
  • trends
  • significant milestones
  • turning points
  • correlation
  • reduction
  • influenced
  • societal implications
  • quality of life
  • gender roles
  • economic implications
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