IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people believe that It is good to share as much as information as possible in scientific research, Businesses and academic worlds. Other believe that some information is so important and valuable To be shared. discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Due to
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 globalisation, some individuals advocate sharing information on different aspects
such
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 as science, business and education,
while
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 some opine that
these
Fix the agreement mistake
this
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 information cannot be accessed
in
Change preposition
for
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 free of charge.
This
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 essay will discuss both viewpoints and explain why all data should be read by everyone. On the one hand, most developing countries are not able to invent effective medicine owing to a lack of professional knowledge. To illustrate, a considerable number of residents in underprivileged nations died
in
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from
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 COVID-19 because of are not capable of making vaccines. If developed countries are willing to provide
permissions
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permission
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 to poor nations
access
Verb problem
to access
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 medical results, the mortality rate would decline.
Moreover
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, a well-known technology brand
Punctuation problem
, Apple
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Apple
Punctuation problem
Apple,
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 occupies the majority of technology innovations
which
Punctuation problem
, which
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 leads to many smartphone factories
struggle
Wrong verb form
struggling
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 to operate their business. The price of
digital
Correct article usage
a digital
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 device can be affordable if Apple is willing to contribute
their
Fix the agreement mistake
its
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 latest techniques.
On the other hand
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, experts or businessmen invest an abundant resources to invent and hold commodities' patent.
For instance
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, Elon Musk invest billions
money
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of dollars
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 to extend
lifespan
Correct article usage
the lifespan
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 of
battery
Correct article usage
the battery
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 in electric
car
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cars
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.
Therefore
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, it is not fair and reasonable to require
private
Correct article usage
a private
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 company
share
Verb problem
to share
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 their unique data
to
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with
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 the general public. Meanwhile, a great deal of professors research and study a subject
in
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for
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 their whole life. If others easily apply their results, it will discourage them
to study
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from studying
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 advanced knowledge. Based on profit and value considerations, data should be owned by inventors or employers. In conclusion,
although
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free-accessed
Use the right word
free-access
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 information can promote
a
Correct article usage
apply
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rapid
progess
Correct your spelling
progress
 in science and education
as well as
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 narrow the gap between the rich and the poor, it would
be
Verb problem
apply
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disrepect
Correct your spelling
disrespect
 experts' efforts and
contribution
Fix the agreement mistake
contributions
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.
Moreover
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, technology enterprises are not willing to put resources
on
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into
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 invention because of no profit.

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task
Make your view clear in the start and keep it in all parts of the essay.
coherence
Use clearer links and a better flow between ideas to improve connecting your paragraphs.
content
Give more exact and simple examples to support your points.
language
Watch grammar and word form, and use plain words.
strength
The essay talks about both sides.
strength
There is a clear plan with an introduction and a conclusion.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • collaboration
  • innovation
  • transparency
  • accountability
  • unfair advantages
  • misuse
  • valuable
  • protected
  • monetized
  • confidentiality
  • progress
  • safeguards
What to do next:
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