IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

In many countries, people's eating habits are leading to obesity and other health problems. Why do so many people have unhealthy eating habits? What is the most effective way to help people improve their eating habits?

Many nations around the world have
people
Use synonyms
 who suffer from health complications and increased weight
due to
Linking Words
 their eating habits.
This
Linking Words
 essay discusses the reasons for
such
Linking Words
 habits, which
includes
Correct subject-verb agreement
include
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 a busy lifestyle
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 and the availability of
hyper palatable
Correct your spelling
hyperpalatable
foods
Use synonyms
. It
also
Linking Words
 talks about maintaining a food journal and bulk cooking as a way of improving
ones
Check wording
one's
show examples
 lifestyle. Nowadays, life is
extermely
Correct your spelling
extremely
 fast-paced as everyone needs to manage multiple things within those 24 hours. There is an increased pressure to earn more
due to
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 the higher costs, which leads to chasing higher
pays
Fix the agreement mistake
pay
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. It is clearly evident that
people
Use synonyms
 are working more as compared to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
previous times, and
this
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 leads to higher reliance on fast
foods
Use synonyms
.
Additionally
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,
such
Linking Words
 food is engineered for taste
so
Punctuation problem
, so
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 overconsume it. There is a hidden motive of big corporations to make huge profits, and they can only make that if
people
Use synonyms
 keep
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
purchasing their items. The successful run of many restaurants clearly showcases that the demand for those
foods
Use synonyms
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 on
a
Correct article usage
the
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 rise. The way to tackle
this
Linking Words
 issue is by regularly keeping a track of
ones
Check wording
one's
show examples
 meals throughout the day. When one notes down every little thing,
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then
Rephrase
apply
show examples
it leads to habit formation of making better choices.
Also
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, they can measure their wins on a monthly basis, which leads to motivation and
Correct article usage
the successfully
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successfully adopting
Replace the word
successful adoption
show examples
a
Change preposition
of a
show examples
new way of living.
Lastly
Linking Words
, one can cook meals for the whole week on
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 weekend to save
time
Use synonyms
. As
people
Use synonyms
 have multiple responsibilities to handle
on
Change preposition
during
show examples
 a working week, cooking takes up their additional
time
Use synonyms
. Many health freaks adopt
this
Linking Words
 approach of devoting only a day or two to
cook
Replace the word
cooking
show examples
 food, and it frees up their
time
Use synonyms
 and energy throughout the upcoming days. In conclusion,
people
Use synonyms
 have little
time
Use synonyms
 on
hands
Correct pronoun usage
their hands
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, and those
dopamine hijacking
Use the right word
dopamine-hijacking
show examples
foods
Use synonyms
 can make one rely heavily on them.
The methods
Correct determiner usage
Methods
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 like maintaining a nutritional entry book
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 and cooking in batches can help to successfully address
this
Linking Words
 serious problem.

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task
In your essay you answer the task but you need a clear claim about which method is most helpful and give reasons or proof. Also explain why a method works more than others.
coherence
Link your ideas more clearly. Use topic sentences, connect each idea to the main question, and keep a simple flow from reason to solution. Avoid very long or mixed ideas in one paragraph.
organization
The essay has an easy to follow layout with intro, body, and conclusion.
content
You give real ideas like diary and batch cooking that fit the topic.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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