IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph shows the average attendance at football matches in three European countries between 1980 and 2004

The graph shows the average attendance at football matches in three European countries between 1980 and 2004
The line graph shows average participation at football games from 1980 to 2004 in three
countries
Use synonyms
.
Overall
Linking Words
, each figure experienced different trends in the time period.
While
Linking Words
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 football matches in Italy started with a larger group of attenders, England and Germany demonstrated approximately similar results
all
Correct determiner usage
apply
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
every year. Regarding Italy , which began with about 35 players and dominated from 1980 to 1986
,
Punctuation problem
.
show examples
However
Linking Words
, in the next matches , it sharply declined to 2004, which constituted roughly 25 attenders.
By contrast
Linking Words
, England and Germany started at a similar point with about 25 players.
The
Change preposition
Over the
show examples
 next 6 years ,
they
Use the right word
the
show examples
 decreased to approximately 20
participants
Check wording
apply
show examples
. From 1986 to 2004, both
countries
Use synonyms
 increased consistently. Notably, in 2004, Italian attenders held second place among other European
countries
Use synonyms
. Germany and England illustrate the highest figures end of the year.
In addition
Linking Words
, in 1998 , all three
countries
Use synonyms
illustrated
Verb problem
had
show examples
 the same number of participants
with
Punctuation problem
, with
show examples
 about 30 members

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words countries with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "shows" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "illustrate" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "approximately" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 3 times.
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