IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people believe teenagers should follow the examples of older people, others believe it is natural for teenagers to challenge what older people say. Discuss both views and give your opinion

The group of individuals believe that it is the responsibility of young children to pay attention to the instructions of their
elders
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
 the rest of the community thinks that it seems normal to deny the suggestions of the older generation. I partially agree with
this
Linking Words
 viewpoint, and I believe that
elders
Use synonyms
 are smarter than children, so we should admire them. The following paragraphs will discuss both sides. On the one hand, the
elders
Use synonyms
 are more knowledgeable and have gone through certain obstacles in their lives. They will give good suggestions after
analyzing
Change the spelling
analysing
show examples
 their life lessons and skills.
For instance
Linking Words
, in India, more than 70% of youngsters are settled
due to
Linking Words
 their ancestors' business, like Ambani's and Mark
Zuckerberg
Check wording
Zuckerberg's
show examples
.
Therefore
Linking Words
, it shows that senior citizens worked hard, and if teenagers follow them will
get
Verb problem
apply
show examples
succeed in their lives.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, the older community have an attachment with
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
god as they do a lot of prayers and following their advice will really be a miracle for kids.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the youth wants to be independent and does not want to take botheration of others, whether it is their parents or friends. They are connected with technology and prefer to live alone, so they never know the value of their family.
For example
Linking Words
, the reports of America witnessed that in 2023, more than half of the
elders
Use synonyms
 were living in old age homes, and their children were settled abroad. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
 the younger generation falls into the trap of loneliness but they should be responsible enough to take care of their elderly for the sake of their age and skill factor.

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task
Task response: The essay covers both sides and gives a view, but the ideas are not strong. Add more clear points for each side and state your view clearly at the end.
coherence
Coherence and cohesion: The plan is simple, but the flow is uneven. Use linking words and keep one clear idea in each paragraph.
grammar
Grammar and accuracy: There are many grammar mistakes that make meaning hard to get. Check subject-verb, plural, and article use. Use short, plain sentences.
lexical
Lexical resource: Use common words. Some phrases are wrong or odd. Use normal phrases like 'On one side' and 'In my view' and 'for example'.
examples
Examples: Some facts are not clear or true. Use real, clear examples or state 'example from country' with care.
idea
Clear plan with two sides and a view.
structure
There is an attempt to give examples.
idea
The writer shows an overall aim to balance the views.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Role models
  • Respect for tradition
  • Wisdom
  • Societal stability
  • Continuity
  • Critical thinking
  • Innovation
  • Societal progress
  • Adaptability
  • Questioning authority
  • Seeking identity
  • Generational gap
  • Value systems
  • Adherence
  • Challenging norms
  • Cultural evolution
  • Empathy
  • Guidance
  • Rebellion
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