IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The bar chart below shows the number of people who visited different museums in London during different months in 2015. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant

The graph presents the data of people who visited various museums in London over several months in 2015.
Overall
Linking Words
, the table shows that the British
Museum
Use synonyms
 has the highest
number
Use synonyms
 compared with the other museums.
In addition
Linking Words
, the lowest
number
Use synonyms
 is shown by the National
Museum
Use synonyms
. On
other
Correct article usage
the other
show examples
 hand, in August the
number
Use synonyms
 of people rose rapidly to more than 600,00 in
British
Correct article usage
the British
show examples
Museum
Use synonyms
,
also
Linking Words
 in
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
 month the
number
Use synonyms
 of people
increasing
Wrong verb form
increased
show examples
 to 600,00 in
History
Correct article usage
the History
show examples
Museum
Use synonyms
.
but
Fix capitalization
But
show examples
 in
October
Punctuation problem
October,
show examples
 the
number
Use synonyms
 of History
Museum
Use synonyms
decreasing
Wrong verb form
decreased
show examples
 to 300,00. Science
Museum
Use synonyms
 shows stable and similar numbers in July and
Augest
Correct your spelling
August
. In
september
Fix capitalization
September
show examples
 the
number
Use synonyms
increase
Replace the word
increased
show examples
 to 500,00, but it came back down in October.
Linking Words
to
Fix capitalization
To
show examples
 sum up, June and July
shw
Correct your spelling
show
 similar numbers in the four museums.

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Basic structure: Use less body paragraphs.
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Change the sixth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words museum, number with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "shows" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the sixth paragraph.
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