IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph below gives information about the percentage of the population in four Asian countries living in cities from 1970 to 2020, with predictions for 2030 and 2040. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The line chart provides key information about percentage of the
number
Check wording
percentage
show examples
 of people in four Asian countries living in cities from 1970 to 2020. The units are measured in percentage.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is clear from the graph that
Malaysia
Use synonyms
is
Verb problem
has
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 the highest
population
Use synonyms
 over
this
Linking Words
 period.
In addition
Linking Words
,
Malaysia
Use synonyms
, Thailand and
Indonesia
Use synonyms
 are
alwayes
Correct your spelling
always
 increasing.
Whereas
Linking Words
Use synonyms
Philippines
Correct article usage
the Philippines
show examples
 from 1990 to 2010 is decreasing.
According to
Linking Words
 what is shown,
Malaysia
Use synonyms
 and the
Philippines
Use synonyms
 are
alwayes
Correct your spelling
always
 exactly or above 30%.
Malaysia
Use synonyms
 have the highest
population
Use synonyms
 in 2040 by about 80%,
while
Linking Words
Use synonyms
Philippines
Correct article usage
the Philippines
show examples
 have the highest
population
Use synonyms
 in 2040 by around 50%. In terms of Thailand and
Indonesia
Use synonyms
, both
of
Change preposition
apply
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them
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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are below 65%. The lowest
population
Use synonyms
 for Thailand is about 19%,
while
Linking Words
Indonesia
Use synonyms
 is around 15%.
However
Linking Words
, both of them will increase.
Although
Linking Words
Use synonyms
Philippines
Correct article usage
the Philippines
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 was higher than
Indonesia
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
from
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 1970 to 2010, in
2010
Punctuation problem
2010,
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 both
will be
Wrong verb form
were
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 exactly the same.
Then
Linking Words
,
Indonesia
Use synonyms
 is higher than
Use synonyms
Philippines
Correct article usage
the Philippines
show examples
.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words malaysia, population, indonesia, philippines with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • percentage
  • population
  • urban
  • cities
  • increase
  • decrease
  • trend
  • grow
  • significant
  • compare
  • predictions
  • features
  • country
  • dwellers
  • reflect
  • levels
  • economic
  • development
  • job opportunities
  • living conditions
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