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Writing Samples
Band 6

The graph below shows the number of appliances sold in an electronic store in Ghana from 1965 to 2000.

The line chart illustrates the amount of electronic
appliances
Use synonyms
 sold in one store in Ghana over the
period
Use synonyms
 between 1965 and 2000.
Overall
Linking Words
, every category showed an upward trend over the
years
Use synonyms
 despite some fluctuation. By the end of the
period
Use synonyms
, refrigerators had become the most sold item of the four, like in the beginning. Refrigerators recorded
sales
Use synonyms
 of 700
appliances
Use synonyms
 in 1965, which rose minimally by around 40
units
Use synonyms
 in 1970. After a modest decline to under 700
items
Use synonyms
 in 1975, the number increased noticeably to above 800
appliances
Use synonyms
 in 1985.
This
Linking Words
 figure fell to about 700
units
Use synonyms
 in 1990, before soaring to nearly 1,000
items
Use synonyms
at the end
Linking Words
 of the
period
Use synonyms
. Turning to telephones, it generated 400
units
Use synonyms
 at the start of the
period
Use synonyms
 and remained the same for five
years
Use synonyms
, before falling to nearly 300
sales
Use synonyms
 in 1985. From
this
Linking Words
point
Use synonyms
, the number experienced more fluctuation, increasing to approximately 350
items
Use synonyms
 in 1990.
Thereafter
Linking Words
, the
sales
Use synonyms
 dropped to 300
appliances
Use synonyms
 in 1995, before soaring to over 400 by 2000. Washing machines,
by contrast
Linking Words
, started at roughly 380
items
Use synonyms
 in 1965 and inched up to 380
sales
Use synonyms
 in 1970.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, the earnings grew dramatically to around 580 in 1975 and crept up to almost 600 in 1980. From
this
Linking Words
point
Use synonyms
 onwards, the number remained unchanged for five
years
Use synonyms
.
Although
Linking Words
 it dipped to below 150
units
Use synonyms
 in 1995, the figures continued to grow in the remaining
years
Use synonyms
, reaching a peak
point
Use synonyms
 of roughly 650
appliances
Use synonyms
.
In contrast
Linking Words
, the
sales
Use synonyms
 of televisions began with 50
items
Use synonyms
 in 1965, and from that
point
Use synonyms
 onwards, the
sales
Use synonyms
 expanded moderately and reached over 200
sales
Use synonyms
 in 1990,
then
Linking Words
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
 levelled off until 2000.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words appliances, period, years, sales, units, items, point with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "fell" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "remained" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "nearly" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "roughly" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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