IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

The bar charts give information about the salaries and university fees of students from three universities in two spheres - Law and Business. Summarize information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relavant.

The bar charts given show data on the amount of
salaries
Use synonyms
 that students
are get
Verb problem
receive
show examples
 and
Use synonyms
fees
Correct article usage
the fees
show examples
 they pay in three different universities across two subjects, namely
law
Use synonyms
 and business.
Overall
Linking Words
, it can be seen from the charts that the amount of
fees
Use synonyms
 in three education facilities
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 far more than
salaries
Use synonyms
, except in
University
Use synonyms
A
Punctuation problem
A,
show examples
where both
salaries
Use synonyms
 and
fees
Use synonyms
 are equal for
law
Use synonyms
 students. Focusing
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
law
Use synonyms
 majors
first,
Linking Words
University
Use synonyms
 A offers
even
Correct article usage
an even
show examples
 quantity of
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
salaries
Use synonyms
 and
fees
Use synonyms
. Meanwhile, in
University
Use synonyms
 B, tuition and
fee
Fix the agreement mistake
fees
show examples
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 much higher than
Correct article usage
the income
show examples
income
Punctuation problem
income,
show examples
stood
Wrong verb form
standing
show examples
 at $40,000 and $60,000. A similar scenario applies for
University
Use synonyms
 B for the graduates of
Law
Use synonyms
, except income is $50,000. As for business majors,
All
Fix capitalization
all
show examples
 universities undergo
discrepancy
Correct article usage
a discrepancy
show examples
 between
salaries
Use synonyms
 and tuition
fees
Use synonyms
.
University
Use synonyms
 A is in the
last
Linking Words
 place where students get $30,000
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
and pay $10,000
higher
Correct word choice
more
show examples
as
Change preposition
in
show examples
their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
tuition
fee
Fix the agreement mistake
fees
show examples
.
University
Use synonyms
 B and C have the same figure for the income stood at $40,000. In comparison, the graduates are charged $50,000 and $60,000.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words salaries, fees, law, university with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "give" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "stood" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: