The amount of time spent on sports and exercise should be increased in schools in order to tackle the problem of overweight children. Do you think this is the best way to deal with this problem? What other solutions can you suggest?

Being overweight among
children
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is a
problem
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that is
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growing worldwide. Some believe that spending more time on sports and exercise in
school
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is the best answer. There are
also
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other strategies regarding
this
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issue.
This
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essay will examine
if
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whether
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I think
this
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is the best way to deal with
this
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problem
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and what other solutions I can suggest. Yes, I believe it is the best way to deal with
this
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problem
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.
First,
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more physical activity at
school
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can help
children
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stay fit and burn calories.
Also
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, playing sports is healthy and teaches teamwork.
Second,
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regular exercise helps to create healthy habits and reduce sitting around.
Due to
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this
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, schools can be important in making
children
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’s physical health better.
Finally
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, the
school
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can provide better food in the cafeteria. A healthy diet for
children
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is better than junk food.
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, fruits and vegetables have numerous vitamins and minerals.
However
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, there are many other solutions I can suggest to overcome
this
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problem
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.
First,
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parents
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should teach about healthy eating habits.
For example
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, a good idea is reducing screen time, which can make
children
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want to be more active when they are not at
school
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.
Also
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, walking outside with their
children
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is a great idea.
Second,
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parents
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can help
children
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enjoy a healthy lifestyle.
Parents
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can encourage their
children
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to go swimming and play football.
Finally
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,
parents
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can make a schedule for their
children
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to follow when they are home.
For example
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, set a time to enjoy healthy snacks, which will encourage them to control their health. In conclusion, it is easy to see that exercise and sports at
school
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are the best way to deal with
this
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problem
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.
However
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,
this
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is not the only solution. There are many other ideas that
parents
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can use to help their
children
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.

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organization
Plan your answer in four parts: intro, one para on school sport, one para on other ideas, and a short conclusion. Each part has one main idea and one clear example.
development
Add more detail to each point. Give a specific example for each idea from real life or school rules.
grammar
Check grammar in places where the sentence sounds odd. Use simple, clear sentence forms.
grammar
Keep tense and voice steady. If you start with 'This essay will' stay with it or move with simple links.
content
The essay shows a clear view that school sport can help with weight problem.
structure
There are clear links between ideas with words like First, Second, Finally, and Also.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example
Topic Vocabulary:
  • tackle the problem
  • overweight children
  • increase physical activity
  • healthier lifestyle
  • calorie intake
  • weight management
  • overall well-being
  • active and health-conscious generation
  • nutritional education
  • school curriculums
  • healthy food choices
  • promote a healthy lifestyle
  • implementing policies
  • unhealthy food options
  • reinforce healthy eating habits
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