IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph below shows radio and television audiences throughout the day in 1992. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart below shows audiences of
radio
Use synonyms
 and
television
Use synonyms
 throughout the day in 1992
Overall
Linking Words
,
radio
Use synonyms
 is more popular in the morning,
while
Linking Words
television
Use synonyms
 is popular in the evening.
In addition
Linking Words
,
radio
Use synonyms
 has the highest point in
medium
Correct article usage
the medium
show examples
 for morning popularity that happened
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 7.00 am,
while
Linking Words
television
Use synonyms
 has always
get
Wrong verb form
got
show examples
 the highest point
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
night that happened
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 8.00 pm. In a day at 1992,
radio
Use synonyms
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
show examples
 more popular than
television
Use synonyms
 in the morning,
its
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
starting at 6 am with the graph climbed slowly until 9 am that
reach
Wrong verb form
reaching
show examples
the
Correct pronoun usage
its
show examples
 highest.
Linking Words
Fix capitalization
However
show examples
however
Add a comma
however,
show examples
 after that, the audience
were
Verb problem
apply
show examples
fluctuated over
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
time until
Correct pronoun usage
it reach
show examples
reach
Wrong verb form
reached
show examples
 the lowest
level
Use synonyms
 at 2 am.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
television
Use synonyms
 had climbed slowly from 6 am at the lowest
level
Use synonyms
 until
they get
Verb problem
it
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
rose rapidly
into
Change preposition
to
show examples
 8 pm at the highest
level
Use synonyms
.
Radio
Use synonyms
 had
audience
Correct article usage
an audience
show examples
 that
reach
Wrong verb form
reached
show examples
 30% total population in
Correct article usage
the united
show examples
united kingdom
Fix capitalization
United Kingdom
show examples
 at
the
Correct pronoun usage
its
show examples
 highest
level
Use synonyms
on
Change preposition
at
show examples
 9 am,
while
Linking Words
television
Use synonyms
 audience
had
Use the right word
that
show examples
reach
Wrong verb form
reached
show examples
 almost 50% total
in
Check wording
population in
show examples
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
show examples
 at
the
Correct pronoun usage
its
show examples
 highest
level
Use synonyms
on
Change preposition
at
show examples
 8 pm.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 86%.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words radio, television, level with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "shows" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "climbed" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "reach" was used 4 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "slowly" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: