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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people believe that schools should teach practical skills such as financial management, cooking and basic repairs, instead of focusing mainly on academic subjects. Do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays, education plays a vital role in preparing children for the future necessities of our societies. Some people believe that educational institutions should teach practical
skills
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 ,
while
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 others consider that they should focus on academic subjects. From my point of view, I agree with the first group, and I will discuss my opinion in
this
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 essay.
Firstly
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, learning practical
skills
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 will help teenagers become functional adults.
For instance
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, if you know how to cook, you will be able to have a balanced diet and,
consequently
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, better health. Another crucial topic to learn is finance, since it will be useful for increasing your income.
For example
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, it may lead to
a
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apply
show examples
better management of your savings.
Secondly
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, it is widely known that soft
skills
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 are highly demanded by companies, as they foster
team work
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teamwork
show examples
 and problem-solving abilities.
For example
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, if you have the capacity to organise your own life, you are more likely to successfully lead a project.
Finally
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, having these practical capacities allows you to become a confident person who is more prepared to face challenges,
such
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 as changing jobs or moving to a new country, because you will have more flexibility to adapt to change. In conclusion,
although
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 academic subjects are
also
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 necessary, I believe schools should give more importance to practical
skills
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.
This
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 way, they will prepare students for a successful and independent life.

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task
Add more detail to each idea. Give one more example for each point to deepen your view.
coherence
Use smoother transitions between ideas to connect points better.
grammar
Check small grammar and word choice to avoid awkward phrases.
task response
Clear view on the topic and state your position.
coherence
Good use of order words like First, Second, Finally.
content
Use of practical examples to support ideas.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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