The graph shows data about the annual earnings of three bakeries in Calgary, 2000-2010.

The given chart illustrates
information
Correct article usage
the information
show examples
of
Change preposition
on
show examples
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
yearly income for three distinct
bakery
Use synonyms
shops in Calgary from 2000 to 2010.
Overall
Linking Words
, Amandine
Bakery
Use synonyms
experienced the highest figures with a sharp rise,
while
Linking Words
Bolo Cake House
also
Linking Words
witnessed an increase.
In contrast
Linking Words
, Mari Bakeshop showed a decline. The figure for Mari Bakeshop started at 80000
USD
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
dollar
Check wording
apply
show examples
in the initial period
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
this
Linking Words
index
is
Verb problem
apply
show examples
fluctuated and reached the same point in 2003,
then
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
point
is
Verb problem
apply
show examples
climbed
90000
Change preposition
to 90000
show examples
USD
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
dollar
Check wording
apply
show examples
in 2005, but dropped to 40000
USD
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
dollars
Check wording
apply
show examples
in 2008 and stayed unchanged at
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
level until 2010. In terms of proportion of Amandine
Bakery
Use synonyms
stood at approximately 58000
USD
Use synonyms
dollars
Use synonyms
in the beginning of time
while
Linking Words
lowest figure was seen for Bolo Cake hose with 20000
USD
Use synonyms
dollar
Use synonyms
in 2000 and
this
Linking Words
indicator is reached to 40000
USD
Use synonyms
dollars
Use synonyms
in 2003,
while
Linking Words
Amandine
Bakery
Use synonyms
remained stable during
this
Linking Words
period in 2005 both indicator was climbed around 61000
USD
Use synonyms
dollars
Use synonyms
,
then
Linking Words
index rose peak of 10000
USD
Use synonyms
dollars
Use synonyms
in ultimate time
whereas
Linking Words
pointer was slight grew up to 61000
USD
Use synonyms
dollar
Use synonyms
.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
Vocabulary: Replace the words bakery, usd, dollar, dollars with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "climbed" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "reached" was used 2 times.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: