IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

These days huge portions of population are moving from rural areas to urban areas. Do you think it is a negative or a positive trend?

In recent decades, an increasing number of individuals have been leaving the countryside to live in
cities
Use synonyms
. Nowadays, a large number of
people
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 are moving from rural regions to big
cities
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.
Although
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
 trend can create certain challenges, I believe it is largely a positive development because it improves
people
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's living standards and offers better job opportunities. One major reason
people
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 move to urban areas is high-quality education
which
Punctuation problem
, which
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further
Linking Words
 leads to numerous employment options.
As a
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result
Add a comma
result,
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theycan
Correct your spelling
they can
 improve their living standard and build their careers in finance and
IT
Correct article usage
the IT
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 sector
which
Punctuation problem
, which
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 are only possible in big
cities
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.
For instance
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, many young
people
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 come to Delhi for better education and decide to settle
their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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permanently, as the city offers the resources to achieve their goals.
Therefore
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,
people
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 choose urban centres not only for higher education but
also
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Verb problem
to provides
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provides
Correct subject-verb agreement
provide
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 them a better lifestyle.
However
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,
this
Linking Words
 trend
also
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 brings certain drawbacks,
such
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 as overcrowding, which tends to increase traffic congestion, pollution, and the cost of living. At the same time, young
people
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leave
Wrong verb form
leaving
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 rural areas
cause
Correct subject-verb agreement
causes
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reduction
Correct article usage
a reduction
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 in food production
due to
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shortage
Correct article usage
a shortage
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 of labour.
Although
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 urban migration has
few
Correct article usage
a few
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 challenges, I still think it is a positive development to improve
people
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's
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
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 and provide greater opportunities for personal and professional growth. 
In addition
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,
cities
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 generally offer better medical facilities, which ensure a healthier lifestyle. To recapitulate, even though urbanisation has a few challenges, it is better to live life in areas with all the resources provided by
nation
Correct article usage
the nation
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 for the betterment of individual well-being and society.

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task response
State your view clearly at the start and keep a steady plan. Add more facts or data to support each point and show both side of the issue.
coherence cohesion
Link ideas clearly in short, level steps. Use simple joining words and keep sentences short. Break long ideas into two lines when needed.
task response
The writer shows a clear view that urban life can be good.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a real example (Delhi) and a note on medical care.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • migration
  • urbanization
  • positive trend
  • negative trend
  • economic opportunities
  • infrastructure
  • services
  • standard of living
  • overcrowding
  • strained resources
  • pollution
  • environmental problems
  • rural livelihoods
  • culture
What to do next:
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