IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Governments should spend money on railways rather than roads. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement

Nowdays
Use the right word
Nowadays
show examples
it’s
Use synonyms
 argued that
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
 should invest
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
railways
Use synonyms
instead
Linking Words
 of roads. Complicated and
disorganized
Change the spelling
disorganised
show examples
 road systems that
made
Verb problem
were made
show examples
 in
21th
Correct word choice
the 21st century
show examples
.
century
Correct article usage
The century
show examples
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
 caused
this
Linking Words
 thought in
people
Use synonyms
’s
mind
Fix the agreement mistake
minds
show examples
.
However
Linking Words
, I totally disagree with
this
Linking Words
 idea. Despite all the negative sides of
roads
Punctuation problem
roads,
show examples
it’s
Use synonyms
 clear that
its
Use the right word
it's
show examples
 way logical than using
railways
Use synonyms
.
Firstly
Linking Words
, the most important thing in today’s world is independence.
People
Use synonyms
 won’t choose public
transportation
Use synonyms
Linking Words
while
Correct word choice
when
show examples
 they have
chance
Correct article usage
the chance
show examples
 to use their personal vehicles.
Linking Words
Also
Add a comma
Also,
show examples
 it doesn't seem possible to provide a personal train for everyone, even if it is
possible
Punctuation problem
possible,
show examples
it’s
Use synonyms
 not useful because
people
Use synonyms
 will not be able to choose the exact places that they want to go.
Beside
Change preposition
Besides
show examples
 the useless sides,
railways
Use synonyms
 are not profitable for
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
. The demand
on
Change preposition
for
show examples
 railway
transportation
Use synonyms
 is less than road
transportation
Use synonyms
.
Further
Linking Words
 that the railway
transportation
Use synonyms
 has to be accessible for everyone
so
Punctuation problem
, so
show examples
 the profit margin needs to be low.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, affordability in railway
transportation
Use synonyms
 might affect
people
Use synonyms
’s
mind
Fix the agreement mistake
minds
show examples
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
railways
Use synonyms
 might become popular
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 today’s world.
Secondly
Linking Words
, road
transportation
Use synonyms
 is one of the biggest factors of air pollution. Most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 have their own vehicles and don’t use public transport,
it
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 causes high exhaust emissions. To prevent
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
air
pollution
Punctuation problem
pollution,
show examples
 some companies release a new type of vehicle which uses electricity
instead
Linking Words
 of gasoline.
People
Use synonyms
 who reject public transport should have electric cars and leave the old technology behind. In conclusion, despite all the defects that roads
have
Punctuation problem
have,
show examples
 I believe that
it’s
Use synonyms
 more sensible than
railways
Use synonyms
. I suggest
governments
Correct word choice
that governments
show examples
to
Verb problem
apply
show examples
forget about
railways
Use synonyms
 and focus on what they do.

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task response
The essay has a clear view, but the order of ideas is not strong. Put one clear thesis in the first paragraph and then three main ideas with support.
coherence cohesion
Use more clear links between ideas. Use words like 'first', 'then', 'also', 'however', 'in addition' to guide the reader.
coherence cohesion
Give real reasons with simple examples. For example, how railways cost a lot or how roads help many people now.
language
Fix grammar errors and spell words right to aid understanding.
task response
Clear stance against the idea.
coherence
Some reasons are given for road use.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Carbon emissions
  • Mass transportation
  • Traffic congestion
  • Economic growth
  • Regional development
  • Initial investment
  • Feasibility
  • Flexibility
  • Rural areas
  • Integration
  • Sustainable
  • Efficiency
  • Infrastructure
  • Commuters
  • Public expenditure
  • Autonomous vehicles
  • Long-term investment
  • Accessibility
  • Connectivity
  • Modal shift
What to do next:
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