IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The charts below shows the distribution of the worlds water and the use of water un three countries.

The pie
chart
Use synonyms
 demonstrates
allocation
Correct article usage
the allocation
show examples
 of
water
Use synonyms
 around the world,
while
Linking Words
 the bar
chart
Use synonyms
 compares the percentage of
using
Verb problem
apply
show examples
water
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in
Check wording
usage in
show examples
 three countries:
Egypt
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,
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Saudia
Use the right word
Saudi
show examples
Arabia
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 and
Canada
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.
Overall
Linking Words
, the pie
chart
Use synonyms
 shows that most of the
water
Use synonyms
 in the world is salt
water
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, meanwhile fresh
water
Use synonyms
 is much less. Fresh
water
Use synonyms
diversed
Wrong verb form
is divided
show examples
in
Change preposition
into
show examples
 three types
:
Punctuation problem
:
show examples
 ice and glaciers, ground and surface. The bar
chart
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 shows the percentage of
water
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using
Wrong verb form
used
show examples
 in three countries for agriculture, industry and domestic.
According to
Linking Words
 the pie
chart
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, the percentage of salt
water
Use synonyms
 is 97%,
while
Linking Words
 the fresh
water
Use synonyms
 is a very
little
Correct word choice
small percentage
show examples
 with 3%.
In fresh
Change preposition
Fresh
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water
Use synonyms
is included
Wrong verb form
includes
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 ice and glaciers ( 79% ),
ground
Use the right word
groundwater
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water
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 ( 20% ) and surface
( 1
Check wording
water ( 1
show examples
% ). Turning to the bar
chart
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, the
water
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mostly
Verb problem
is mostly
show examples
 used in
Egypt
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 and
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Saudia
Use the right word
Saudi
show examples
Arabia
Use synonyms
 for agriculture
from
Punctuation problem
, from
show examples
 77% to 80%. In
Canada
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, it was the lowest figure with 10%. For
domestic
Punctuation problem
domestic,
show examples
 it is similar
with
Change preposition
to
show examples
 12% in
Egypt
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 and
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Saudia
Use the right word
Saudi
show examples
Arabia
Use synonyms
, in
Canada
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it&nbsp
Punctuation problem
, it&nbsp
show examples
; is a little lower. The industry was the highest figure in usage in
Canada
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 with 80%,
whereas
Linking Words
 in
Egypt
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 and
Use synonyms
Saudia
Use the right word
Saudi
show examples
Arabia
Use synonyms
 did not use much ( 8%-10%).

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words chart, water, egypt, saudia, arabia, canada with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 6 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "shows" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.
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