IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

In modern societies, grandchildren rarely spend time with their grandparents. What do you think are the consequences of it?

In recent years,
due to
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 busy life schedules in modern societies, most grandchildren can not spend appropriate
time
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 with their
grandparents
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. In my opinion, there are mainly some results that affect
people
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's lives ,
such
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 as losing support from their
grandparents
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 and curbing their ability to make relationships with elderly
people
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.
Firstly
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, when you do not spend enough
time
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 with your
grandparents
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, your bonds are going to untie as soon as possible.
For instance
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, one of my friends cut his contact with his
grandparents
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 in order of his mom.
As a result
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, after a
while
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, he was feeling lonely in life without having them in his life.
Consequently
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, without being occasionally in touch with
grandparents
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, no one is going to have a successful relationship with them.
Secondly
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, with the rapidly growing number of old
people
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 in our countries, the majority of individuals are going to be elderly soon. So spending little
time
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 with
grandparents
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 could ruin your
communication
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 skills with older
people
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. I learned many social
communication
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 techniques from chatting with my
grandparents
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. I
also
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 applied these skills in my workplace as a nurse when I talk to my patients who are more than 70 years old. Ultimately , spending
time
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 with
grandparents
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 enriches
communication
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 skills.
Accordingly
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, if you want effective
communication
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 with the elderly and an intimate relationship with your
grandparents
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, you must spend as many hours as possible with them.

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planning
Plan an outline before you write. Start with a clear view, then two or three main points, and a short end.
task
Make your ideas fit the question. Talk about how time with grandparents helps families and how it helps talk with old people; keep to one main idea per paragraph.
examples
Give real examples or data. A real story helps the point.
coherence
Use simple links to show you move from one idea to the next.
language
Check grammar and use short, clear sentences. Avoid long, hard phrases.
content
Has a clear view on the topic.
evidence
Gives a real life example to show a point.
coherence
Some good use of linking between sentences.
language
Uses simple language to express ideas.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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