IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages?

There is controversy over whether taking
risks
Use synonyms
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
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 crucial for individuals in their careers and
perivet
Correct your spelling
personal
 lives. From my perspective, I firmly believe that the advantages
are
Verb problem
apply
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outweigh the disadvantages because many opportunities are
provieded
Correct your spelling
provided
 from taking
risks
Use synonyms
like
Punctuation problem
, like
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better
Correct article usage
a better
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 life and keeping
people
Use synonyms
work
Wrong verb form
working
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 effectively. One main reason why adults should take
risks
Use synonyms
 is
that
Change preposition
to
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 enhance their quality of life. Many
people
Use synonyms
though
Use the right word
thought
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 about
quit
Wrong verb form
quitting
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 their
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
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 and
start to build
Wrong verb form
starting
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 their own
business
Fix the agreement mistake
businesses
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, but fewer
people
Use synonyms
 might take the chance.
However
Linking Words
, there is a major benefit from taking
risks
Use synonyms
which
Punctuation problem
, which
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 is creating a
funnaise
Fix the agreement mistake
sense of
show examples
 freedom.
For example
Linking Words
, some local firms are built by workers,
aftre
Correct your spelling
after
 they suffer from the
low-pay
Use the right word
pay
show examples
 and long hours of working
.
Check wording
hours.
show examples
 Another
benefical
Correct your spelling
beneficial
 impact of taking
risks
Use synonyms
 is that
engoruge
Correct your spelling
it encourages
people
Use synonyms
 to take the best opportunity. To illustrate, numerous adults tend to stay in the
comfertable
Correct your spelling
comfortable
 area rather than making
effort
Correct article usage
an effort
show examples
.
However
Linking Words
, taking
risks
Use synonyms
force
Correct subject-verb agreement
forces
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 them to work harder
,
Punctuation problem
apply
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 and move to
better
Correct article usage
a better
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 environment.
As a result
Linking Words
, they could be more effective
which
Punctuation problem
, which
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lead
Correct subject-verb agreement
leads
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 them
advance
Replace the word
advanced
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 level.
For instance
Linking Words
, in high
school
Add a comma
school,
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 some students with poor
proformance
Correct your spelling
performance
 take the risk to sing in a math competition
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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 they study very
hand
Use the right word
hard
show examples
, the result shows that
did
Correct pronoun usage
they did
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 well and
win
Wrong verb form
won
show examples
 the competition. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
 some individuals prefer
Verb problem
to saty
show examples
saty
Correct your spelling
stay
 safe and keep themself in
easy
Correct article usage
an easy
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zoon
Use the right word
zone
show examples
, the
risks
Use synonyms
 may be helpful to get many opportunities in professional lives and personal lives. I would argue that taking
risks
Use synonyms
 is essential to improve the lifestyle and
rise
Use the right word
raise
show examples
the funnaise
Correct word choice
financial
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 freedom.

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task response
Your answer shows a clear view, but you need more strong and clear ideas. Add reasons and compare both sides.
grammar
Grammar and word form are weak. Fix errors like 'are crucial' to 'is crucial' and spell words correctly.
lexical
Use simple and common words. Do not use wide or rare words. Keep ideas on topic and easy to follow.
structure
Group ideas in clear paragraphs. Each paragraph should have one main idea with a sentence to start it and a sentence to finish.
cohesion
Link ideas with simple join words like 'and', 'but', 'also', 'however', and give clear examples that relate to work or life.
editing
Check spelling and punctuation; read your essay aloud to catch mistakes.
position
The writer has a clear view on the topic.
organization
There is an intro, body, and conclusion.
examples
Some examples are used to back ideas.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Opportunities
  • Growth
  • Innovation
  • Challenges
  • Self-discovery
  • Resilience
  • Uncertainty
  • Consequences
  • Calculated risks
  • Stagnation
  • Regret
  • Comfort zone
  • Entrepreneurship
  • Adventurous spirit
  • Thriving
  • Failure
  • Mitigate
  • Reap the rewards
What to do next:
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