IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people think that it is better to work for one company all your life, while others believe it is better to change jobs frequently. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

People
Use synonyms
 have
Use synonyms
diffrent
Correct your spelling
different
 views on whether to stay and
dedicatre
Correct your spelling
dedicate
 your life to
one
Use synonyms
place
Use synonyms
, or to be versatile and
work
Use synonyms
 for
Use synonyms
diffrent
Correct your spelling
different
 companies. There is no doubt that working in
one
Use synonyms
place
Use synonyms
 could be convenient for most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
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 as you can develop
further
Linking Words
 on
,
Punctuation problem
;
show examples
on the contrary
Linking Words
,I personally
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 believe that constant
change
Use synonyms
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
 workplaces will lead to success in
long
Correct article usage
the long
show examples
 term. There are various reasons why employees tend to rest
particularly
Punctuation problem
, particularly
show examples
with
Change preposition
in
show examples
one
Use synonyms
 workplace
for
Punctuation problem
, for
show examples
 a long period, as there are plenty of
benefical
Correct your spelling
beneficial
 outcomes.
Firstly
Linking Words
, throughout the working
years
Punctuation problem
years,
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 get used to their surroundings, colleagues, and
overall
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 to
work
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 itself.
This
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 could lead to high focus on the particular path, where great
achivements
Correct your spelling
achievements
 and fast career development could be
achived
Correct your spelling
achieved
.
Secondly
Linking Words
, being part of something big,
people
Use synonyms
 who dedicate their time, energy and effort to particular companies, might have a sense of belonging to the
place
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and
Punctuation problem
, and
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 if they truly like what they are doing,
this
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 would lead them
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work
Verb problem
to work
show examples
 passionately and love what they do.
Finally
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, having an
oppotunirty
Correct your spelling
opportunity
 to introduce friends and family to
work
Use synonyms
 with them if they truly find it suitable for them.
However
Linking Words
, all the arguments above could be
plausiable
Correct your spelling
plausible
 for many
people
Use synonyms
 ,I would agree with others who believe frequent job
change
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 is better. By
exposing
Replace the word
exposure
show examples
 to
Use synonyms
diffrent
Correct your spelling
different
 environments where fast-paced
change
Use synonyms
 would be expected, and adaptation will lead to
develop
Replace the word
the development of
show examples
 some personal skills.
Additionally
Linking Words
, new encounters that will be made on
path
Correct article usage
the path
show examples
 would be beneficial and helpful for later
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 life. There is no doubt
constant
Correct word choice
that constant
show examples
 workplace
change
Use synonyms
 gives a lot of
Use synonyms
diffrent
Correct your spelling
different
work
Use synonyms
 experiences and various kinds of tasks over the periods.
This
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 may lead to
rich
Correct article usage
a rich
show examples
 CV and
overall
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 capabilities where each
place
Use synonyms
 tests for its own requirements. In conclusion,
Sticiking
Correct your spelling
Sticking
up
Change preposition
apply
show examples
with
one
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 company has solid benefits,
Linking Words
Although
Fix capitalization
although
show examples
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 I believe personal development is much more important for me rather than
oen
Correct your spelling
one
 dedication to
one
Use synonyms
place
Use synonyms
.

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planning
Plan your essay first: write a short plan with the main idea and the order of points.
structure
Make a clear intro that restates the topic and a clear ending that sums up your view.
language
Use simple links to show contrasts and adds, like 'but', 'also', and 'however'.
development
Develop each idea with a short reason and one example.
editing
Check spelling and grammar to avoid errors that hide meaning.
content
You try to show both sides of the topic.
structure
You share your own view at the end of the essay.
language
You use some linking words to join ideas.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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